How's this
for narcissism? I'm writing about what
I've been up to while listening to myself on a podcast. Now if only that commissioned painting of
myself was complete...
So here's the
deal. I am MOVING. In one month, I'll be driving 1700 miles,
looking for a place to live and searching for a new internet provider. This means that there will be a decent gap in
updates. Just think of it as holiday
break part 2.
Because of my
crazy schedule, I may not be able to get to the theater for new films. However, I promise that you will have
something new to read every Sunday and Wednesday from now until Feb 13.
For today,
here's a nice little round-up of several decent movies that have hit
Netflix. Something for everyone!
On to the review(s)!
Iron Sky - As noted
last year, I was really excited for this one.
Nazi's in space? A Sarah Palin
lookalike as president? Camp and a
classic Sci-Fi B Movie feel? Why did
they not just mail me a copy, knowing
that I wanted to see it.
So how was
it?
Ehhhhh.....could've
been worse.
If you've
never heard of it, it came out in the spring of 2012. Starring nobody in particular, the new
President sends the world's first Black man to the moon. They venture to the dark side and discover that
the Nazi's had built an outpost there, where they are now raising successive
generations of brainwashed German children.
Upon destroying the 'invading' U.S. ship and capturing the *gasp* Black
man (Christopher Kirby as James Washington), they find that his cell phone is
enough to power their weaponry, allowing them to finally achieve their goal of
world domination.
Here's the
problem. For such a campy film, they
tried too hard to juggle close to half a dozen plotlines. When it stayed zoomed out as a campy 'Nazi's
vs. Earth' film, it was lots of fun with many well-imagined special
effects. However, every time we zoomed
in to the two (TWO!) love triangles, the movie stuttered and spit all over the
place. The only entertaining storyline
was Washington's struggle with being a white man after the Nazi's 'fix'
him. Oh, those wacky, racist Nazis.
So Iron Sky isn't a bad movie per se, but I
believe that if I had seen it in theaters I would have been very, very
disappointed.
Bernie - Jack Black
tries his hand at drama and succeeds swimmingly. In fact, this movie stars not only Mr. Black,
but Shirley MacLaine and Matthew McConaughey.
So where the hell did it come from?
I honestly don't know.
Released in
2011, Bernie is 'based on a true
story' involving a (possibly) closeted homosexual assistant funeral director in
a small Texas town. He marries the
town's rich widow and (spoilers? no,
it's in the damn summary) kills her.
However, he's so popular in the town that people are willing to either
overlook his actions or actually shrug and claim that she deserved it for being
such a horrible person.
Jack black is
incredibly nuanced as compared to his usual roles. I'm actually going to go ahead and say that
this is his Punch Drunk Love. It's fun, kinda funny, and oddly compelling.
V/H/S - Here's your
horror kick! V/H/S is not actually a straight-up movie but a collection of short
films put together with only one overarching theme: amateur filmmaking. One of the short films ties the others
together, involving a group of guys who are paid to break into a man's house
and steal a particular VHS tape. The
other films all show up as they are sifting through a huge collection of tapes,
trying to find the one they're after.
Out of the
six shorts, I really enjoyed three of them.
One was okay until the ending, and only one fell flat. Interestingly enough, I disliked the
overarching one the most as the guys were all super-douche assholes, making it
hard to really care what happened to them.
I really
really liked the first one, Amateur Night,
about a group of guys picking up girls at the bar and getting more than they
bargained for. Second Honeymoon was the one that fell flat for me, but there were
a few moments of genuine tension. Tuesday the 17th was cool, and I liked
the idea of a monstrous killer that couldn't be caught on film.
The Sick Thing That Happened to Emily When
She Was Younger made awesome use of Skype and it was actually the only one
that gave me a genuine creep-out moment.
Too bad the ending was just not good enough when compared to the rest of
it. Finally, 10/31/98 showed off some excellent haunted house effects and the
way it ended was great. The short film
that surrounds all this is called Tape 56
and, well, meh.
It's rare
that I enjoy any anthology film, so when I say this is good, I think you'll
enjoy it too, with two caveats. It's all
handheld, so if you get motion sick easily, stay away. Also, it is all horror but they run the gamut
from monsters to murderers to the supernatural.
Finally, I
want to thank the guys at X-Strike Studios for having me on their end of the
year podcast! These guys are awesome and
their podcasts are always fun to listen to.
If you want to know what we all thought about the best and worst of 2012
in movies and video games, check out my guest appearance on X-Strike's
Tripleradio right here!
.
If you like it, devour
all their podcasts at http://x-strikestudios.com/tripleraidio/media/.
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