Looper

            Despite taking a month off to recharge my batteries and prepare for the fall movie season, I'm still not actually ready for it.  Not only do I not have a backlog of Wednesday reviews, I managed to take on more writing challenges.

            But I'm glad to be back!

            On to the review!

            Back in little ol' 2005, the most impressive film of the year was a little nowhere film from a nobody guy.  It was called Brick, and it was written and directed by Rian Johnson, a relative unknown who, at the time, only had 2 short films under his belt.  Starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt, it completely reworked the old noir detective story for modern audiences.  Also, it was freaking amazing.

            Now it's 2012, and not only is Mr. Johnson back, but he's also brought Gordon-Levitt with him.  Hopefully this will be a long and beautiful friendship.  In fact, I'll even go so far as to hope that Rian Johnson becomes the next Christopher Nolan.

            His new film is Looper, and it's one of the most well-written, fun, interesting, and surprising sci-fi action movies I have ever had the pleasure of seeing.  Not as confusing as Primer, and not as crazy as Twelve Monkeys, it nonetheless manages to entertain you even as it unspools its plot until the very end of the film.

            Gordon-Levitt stars as Joe, an assassin in the year 2044 who volunteers to shoot people sent to him from the future.  In return, he's well-paid enough to have all the fun and drugs he wants.  However, there is one tiny downside.  The contract he signed promises that someday he'll be forced to 'close the loop.'  That is, he'll have to assassinate his future self.

            This being a movie, things go horribly wrong.  When he finally faces Old Joe in the guise of the well-aged Bruce Willis, he is unable to close the loop, no matter how much he would like to.

            "But I saw all that in the trailers!" you moan, thinking I'm just going to rehash what you already obviously know about the movie.  So here's something for you to consider:  Everything after that is batshit insane in a good way. 

            The trailer would have you believe it's a simple chase film.  The trailer tried to make you look like a dumbass. 

            Joe is perfectly willing to take out Old Joe.  Old Joe has better things to do than get shot dead.  The syndicate Joe works for isn't interested in giving him another chance.  Old Joe has a plan to fix things.  Joe doesn't want to hear it.

            This is where things start to go absolutely, fantastically off the rails.  The movie is well-written, and you can stay one step ahead of the characters only if you're seriously paying attention.  References become plot points, and things that seem important can become irrelevant.  It's that kind of movie.

            The acting is phenomenal.  Gordon-Levitt continues his streak of impressing the shit out of me, and I think I'm developing a man-crush.  Bruce Willis delivers his finest performance in a very long time, and even the secondary characters are convincingly real.  Emily Blunt, Paul Dano, Noah Segan and Jeff 'Fuck Yeah' Daniels all deliver their roles perfectly, helping to flesh out the world that Looper wants so hard to convince you could be a very real future.

            The movie does a great job in the makeup and wardrobe department as well, making Gordon-Levitt actually look like a young Bruce Willis (because come on, nobody is going to put makeup on Bruce Willis).  The clothing and styles are all pretty cool, as are the little hints that this really is a dystopian future. 

            Many of the vehicles have either solar panels or what look like some sort of fuel recycler hooked up to them.  The buildings and streets have a strange, futuristic run-down look going on; Think Back to the Future Part II only with a bigger budget.

            The only downside is the special effects.  Wisely, Looper keeps them few and far between, but when they occur, they tend to be cheesy.  The one scene that really looks out of place involves a jet bike and a cornfield.  Trust me, if you don't notice it, you're not paying attention.

            However, a crappy greenscreen effect is absolutely no reason to avoid seeing Looper.  After leaving the theater, I decided then and there to buy it when it comes out on Blu-Ray.  While that may not mean much to you, keep in mind that I purchased a total of one movie released in 2011 and am the proud owner of not a single damn film from 2012 so far.

            Go do yourself a favor and watch Looper.  If you end up liking the action but find that you wanted a little more realism in your time travel, go home and blow what's left of your mind with Primer.  

September Vacation

            It was a tough decision, but I'm going to take September off.

            I love Mainstreamin', and I love having an excuse to watch terrible movies like Total Recall and make fun of them.  Although, I love getting to see movies that I expect to suck, like Warrior, and finding out that they do indeed not suck. 

            You either get to read my angry tirades or you get a solid recommendation without any fluff like Four Stars or This gets a 8/10.  From the beginning, I wanted to recommend movies by comparing them to other films that the reader has hopefully seen.  It requires a slightly more extensive knowledge of film on my part and yours, but I still feel like it's a lot more accurate than random letters or numbers.

            Unfortunately, the month of September isn't very kind in the movie department this year.  Sure, some things are coming out, but nothing looks very good and nothing looks very bad.  Simply bland films, as far as the eye can see.

            I don't think I'm losing motivation.  I love watching movies, and I always look forward to writing about them.  What I am losing is time.  I need a few weeks to build a backlog, do things at my own pace, and settle in to my new home. 

            I worried about losing readers by taking such a long hiatus, but I think enough of you find my style of rambling entertaining enough to come back that I can continue my amazing weekly readership of around 8 hits.  (Seriously, you think I'd actually tell you how I'm doing?  This is a blog, people.  Nobody finds out until I get sponsors.)

            I still reserve the right to change my mind with Looper or Dredd, but for right now the first peep you'll hear from me is when Taken 2 hits theaters.

            Until then, good luck finding the films that you love, the ones you hate, and the ones you love to hate. 

The Possession

            Teenagers:  The bane of the movie going experience.  Second only to young children, their incessant noise is difficult to ignore when in large groups.

            PG-13 horror movies:  Teenagers are oddly attracted to them, hoping for a few scares from a film they're legally allowed to watch without adult supervision.

            On Friday, I went to see The Possession.  Since it's produced by Sam Raimi, I wish I had mostly positive things to say.  But just like Santa Claus, wishes aren't real.

            So let's start with the positive: The acting is excellent. 

            Okay, I'm out of positive.

            On to the review!

           

            In  The Possession, Clyde (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) is a newly-divorced father who gets his girls on the weekends.  Of course, mother Stephanie (Kyra Sedgwick, whom I will always have a crush on) is a bit of a new-ager, so the kids aren't allowed pizza or junk food, as the youngest has 'allergies.'  Clyde tries his best to be a fun and caring father, but he too often puts his career as a basketball coach ahead of his family.  Hence the 'newly-divorced' part.

            The older sister Hannah is played by Madison Davenport, and she's more or less exactly what I expect from a Hollywood version of a teenage girl.  Her little sister Em is played by Natasha Calis and she brings actual nuance to the movie.  Yes, nuance.  To a horror movie.

            The plot gets going when Hannah makes dad stop at a yard sale, commenting on how he needs new dishes.  While there, Em finds a large, hand-crafted wooden box that she asks her father to buy.  After some horrible, blatant foreshadowing, we watch as Em discovers how to open it up completely by accident, and then we get to the creepy. 

            As the days go by, Em starts to act more and more out-of-sorts.  She even claims that she 'doesn't feel like herself' at one point.  Yes, as good as the acting is, the script tries its best to force everyone down to its level.  As Em gets more and more erratic, Clyde becomes ever-more-concerned.  Finally, he confronts her in an effort to figure out what is going on and, without ruining anything, he ends up losing his joint custody.

            Stephanie, having been privy to none of this, genuinely believes that Clyde has turned into an asshat, but it doesn't stop Clyde from continually trying to help his daughter.  Finally, with the help of a completely random college professor, he learns what the box truly is and who he needs to go to for help.

            Of course, that person is Matisyahu, playing Tzadok, a very kind-hearted Orthodox Jew.  Tzadok takes Clyde and the box to his father, but daddy refuses to help, deciding that it's too dangerous.  Tzadok can't bear to see a child suffer, so he offers his own services. 

            By the time Clyde and Tzadok get back home, Em has been hospitalized due to her erratic and dangerous behavior.  So all that stuff you saw in the trailer?  Yeah, it mostly happens in the last 15 minutes.

            Here's the biggest problem with The Possession.  It doesn't know what kind of horror it wants to be.  It builds slowly.  I mean really, really slowly.  The plot takes its time to develop and reminds you of some of the older horrors like The Exorcist or Poltergeist.  Unfortunately, the scares are nothing more than modern day meh.  Every time you expect a jump, there's a jump.  When you expect the character to do A, they do A.  There are no twists, no surprises, and everything is so neatly laid out that it becomes just another crappy PG-13 horror. 

            What I really want to do is take all these actors and put them in a better, scarier movie.  One that's not afraid to take chances and risk alienating the audience through some bold decisions.  Like maybe actually killing someone you don't expect to die, or at the very least leave some genuine emotional scarring.

            Final verdict?   Save your time and money.  Go rent TheExorcism of Emily Rose instead.