They Might Be Giants

            I am convinced that George C. Scott was 45 years old the moment he was born.

            On to the review!

            I opened up the film-watching decisions to the internet and the first suggestion was They Might Be Giants, a 1971 drama/comedy (no, I’m not saying dramedy.  You can’t make me).  The plot seems pretty simple at first, but then it fortunately (and fantastically) goes off the rails. 

            Justin Playfair (George C. Scott) is a brilliant former lawyer and judge who, after the loss of his wife, had a mental breakdown and now believes that he is Sherlock Holmes.  His brother Blevins (BLEVINS), played by Lester Rawlins, is a total dickbag and wants his brother’s entire estate handed over to his control.  Just such a thing can happen if Justin…err…Sherlock…is committed to the loony bin.

            The doctor responsible for making that decision is Dr. Mildred….dun-dun-DUN…Watson!  Played by Joanne Woodward, Watson finds the perfect balance between curiosity, excitement and exasperation as she deals with all of Justin/Sherlock's shenanigans.

            Fortunately the main plot is set aside quickly to become almost an afterthought until the last quarter of the film.  Instead we get to watch Justin/Sherlock traipse around New York City looking for clues that will lead him to Moriarty.  Justin/Sherlock constantly skirts the law as he skips from random encounter to random encounter, his troubled mind always turning happy accidents into deliberate clues. 

            Yeah, it’s a little schlocky at times, but there is a true sense of wonder and mystery surrounding our characters.  Watson undergoes your typical transformation from stuffy to eagerly hopeful, but she doesn’t do it in such a way as to be a corny character.  More importantly, George C. Scott is fantastic as Sherlock.  He plays the character with aplomb, and even though you know from the plot that he’s not really Sherlock, he does his best to make you forget.  Seeing Sherlock navigate the filthy streets of 70’s NYC with such confidence and poise is very entertaining.

            There really aren’t too many other people that I recognized in the film, what with being negative 10 when it came out.  Rue McClanahan (Blanche from Golden Girls) plays a small part as Blevins’ wife, and Al Lewis (Grandpa from The Munsters!) has an entertaining bit part.

            When all is said and done, They Might Be Giants is a really interesting, entertaining take on the Sherlock mythos.  Can anyone be like Sherlock Holmes if they simply pay attention and expand their mind?  Is Sherlock an idea as much as he is a ‘person?’  Do we all have our own Moriarty?

            In all, I enjoyed They Might Be Giants.  It was fun, had just enough humor to keep it from being a depressing film about a nutcase, and between this, Patton and The Changeling, I’m becoming a huge George C. Scott fan.

Red Dawn 2012

            Maybe, just maybe the new Red Dawn will do so poorly that Hollywood steps off the remake bandwagon.  I mean, Total Recall, Dread and Red Dawn were all released to mild or worse reviews and two of them already tanked at the box off.

            So of course they're not going to remake movies like Robocop, Carrie or Evil Dead, right?

            Oh, wait...they are?  And even worse, I'm still going to be a sucker and go watch all of them in the theater?

            Shit.

            On to the review!

            In one word: craptacular.  Yes, Red Dawn was a crappy spectacular.  And by spectacular, I mean it sucked.

            As you may or may not know, Red Dawn has been sitting on shelves for a few years now.  I'm not sure why it finally saw the light of day, but I'm also not sure who thought a knee-jerk movie about kids fighting off an enemy invasion during the cold war needed to be reshot.  I liked the original for its ridiculousness, certainly not for its plot.

            Add that to the fact that the studio gave in to pressure and changed the enemy from the Chinese to the North Koreans, and BAM! we've lost any and all pretense at being interesting or topical.

            So what has changed from the original?  Well, the characters are a lot less likeable.  In fact, there was only one person whose screen presence can't be described with the world 'horrible' and that's only because he wasn't on screen enough for me to hate him. 

            This time there's no Air Force Colonel to help whip the kids into shape, instead we get Chris Hemsworth as Jed Eckert, a Marine conveniently home on leave when the North Koreans raid Spokane, Washington because Spokane is somehow important.  Hell, they actually explain why Spokane was attacked, and I still don't believe it.

            Just like in the 1984 original, a bunch of teens get to the woods and fight back at the invaders.  That's where the similarity ends.  Now they're more like freedom fighters, and because of modern technology and some ridiculous raids, they have access to enough explosives to take out every damn building in the city if they feel like it.  At no point do you believe much will go wrong, and there's just no impetus to root for the kids.

            Sorry, but the Red Dawn remake falls flat on all fronts.  I'm glad that Cabin In the Woods was released once Chris Hemsworth became popular as Thor, because that was a fun film that deserved to see the light of day.

            Red Dawn is not.  Save your money, go see Lincoln.

Red Dawn 1984

In 1984, America was introduced to the Wolverines.  A group of brave—some may say plucky—teenagers who were willing to do whatever it took to save their friends, their families, and their homes from an evil Communist intrusion.

            It’s going to happen again in 2012, but will it be anything like the first time?

On to the review!

            This week I double-down on Red Dawn.  I’ll check out the new one in Black Friday when everyone else is fighting over the last can of air at Best Buy; not because they need it, but because it’s the last thing left that’s marked down in the entire store.

            In the original version America is attacked by a Communist threat.  Russians, Cubans and (apparently) Nicaraguans come out of nowhere and completely overwhelm America’s defensive capabilities. (Thanks IMDB. I always assumed everyone was only Russian or Cuban.)

            Of course, this being Amer’ca, we don’t take kindly to invading forces.  If our gub’ment can’t protect us, we’ll just do it ourselves! 

So it’s no surprise that when a small Colorado town is invaded by paratroopers, several high school students flee into the surrounding countryside.  Why invade a small Colorado town?  He who controls the slops controls the universe, apparently.

Once safely hidden in the woods the kids demonstrate both their survival skills and their…hunting…abilities.  They make such a nuisance of themselves that the enemy is forced to expend a far greater amount of troops hunting them down than should have been necessary.  Once they join forces with a downed Air Force Colonel they become the greatest threat to Communist plans in all of Colorado.

            While the plot and the action are fun, Red Dawn ultimately combines two things that the 80’s did very well: action and our fear of the Red Menace.  And boy oh boy did they do just that!  It’s one of the most entertaining action flicks of the 80’s and it’s a rite of passage for many a young man.

Fun fact:  Watching Red Dawn as a teenage male is the absolute fastest way to grow pubic hair.

Then there is the fact that nowhere else in memory has a film showcased so many relative unknowns that went on to become well-known movie and television stars.  Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey had yet to do Dirty Dancing.  Lea Thompson was still a year away from Back to the Future.  Charlie Sheen was (allegedly) not yet a huge fan of hookers and coke.  Name another ensemble film that somehow cast 4 relative unknowns who went on to have even greater Hollywood success.

Do I like Red Dawn?  Hells yes I do.  Do I want to like the new one?  Of course!  Do I think I will?  Ummm…..

Skyfall

            Since I really didn't want to watch any of this week's movies I decided to see last week's big film, Skyfall.  For all you evil bastards who wanted me to watch Twilight: We Don't Need Acting When We've Got Girls Willing To Give Us Money For All The Hotties On Screen, I hate you all.

            Instead you'll be getting my review of a film you've quite likely already seen.  As someone who has always enjoyed Bond films but never goes out of his way to watch them, I'm probably going to tick off people who actually know what they're talking about.  Meh.

            On to the review!

            Skyfall marks Daniel Craig's 3rd turn as James Bond, and it marks the estimated 839th time a Bond film has been released.  While I can't speak for every Connery, Lazenby, Moore, Dalton and Brosnan outing, the Craig films have never failed to entertain me.  Shit, despite Quantum of Solace being considered 'tepid at best' I still like it better than every Brosnan appearance except GoldenEye. 

            So what's Skyfall going to do to try and get us hooked?  Why, a combination of back-to-basics and an actual admission of Bond's creeping age! 

            As we all know from the trailers, Bond is shot and presumed dead, then comes back to the fold just when he's needed most.  This time the evil mastermind is Silva (Javier Bardem), a computer mastermind and former agent.  Yes, the good old 'former coworker with a grudge' plot.

            While Skyfall could have been a terribly cheesy film in the wrong hands, director Sam Mendes takes great care with what the writers gave him, and he wrings excellent performances out of every member of the cast no matter how small their part.  Javier Bardem is especially memorable as an unhinged mastermind with a singular purpose. 

            However, what really sucks you in is the fact that James Bond looks ancient.  You know by this time he's been an operative for at least 15-20 years, and that high level of physical, emotional and mental training is visibly taking its toll.  He's slowed down.  He's missed a step.  Now he has to rely just as much on his intuition and training as he does his ability to physically get the job done.

            It's this humanization of the Bond character that makes Craig's Bond so good.  Since I haven't seen every Bond film in existence, I can't say whether or not this is the best.  What I can say for certain is that I haven't so thoroughly enjoyed a Bond film since Sean Connery was in front of the camera.

            Do yourself a favor.  If you crave an action film amidst all these comedies and dramas, check out Skyfall.  Even though I'm going to watch Red Dawn for you guys next week, I have a sneaking suspicion that it will fall far short of the spectacle and action that Skyfall delivers.

           Also, I really didn't like Adele's theme song.  Really, really didn't like it.

            

Black Sheep

            Screw introductions, let's get on with it.

            On to the review!

            I am actively watching Black Sheep and it is amazing.  Arriving from New Zealand in 2006, it's a film about the horrors of genetic testing.  More specifically, it's about how we can make anything deadly if we try hard enough.  What is the dumbest, least intimidating creature we regularly encounter?  If you said 'sheep' then congratulations, you read the title of the movie.

            Think about it.  Domesticated to the point where if mankind were to die out, they would die out.  Too dumb to protect themselves from predators, too harmless to intimidate anyone in their right mind.  Sheep are the anti-scary.  So congratulations to writer/director Jonathan King for making an entertaining horror film that actually manages to make sheep believably dangerous.

            Sure there's a plot and actors and stuff, but come on.  It's a horror movie called Black Sheep.  Fuck your plot.  All you need to know is that a genetic experiment went wrong, turning sheep into insane, homicidal carnivores.  Meanwhile, there are two brothers on opposite sides of the genetic debate, a few innocent field hands, less innocent scientists, and a pair of crazy PETA-types.

            Oh yeah, and anyone bitten by an infected sheep may or may not start morphing into a killer man/sheep hybrid.  I don't know, I haven't gotten that far yet.

            Roughly 30 minutes into the film, I started to think about how similar the style was to horror classics like Bad Taste and  DeadAlive (a.k.a. Braindead).  Then I had that 'no shit' moment.  During the opening to Black Sheep they straight up announced 'effects by WETA,' the special effects company used by Peter Jackson for pretty much every film ever.  There's a selling point if ever there was one.

            Ohh, yes there are man/sheep killer hybrids.  Ah-duhhhh.   Like you didn't guess.  Also, found a Wilhelm Scream.

            While still your standard killer creatures horror movie, it's got a good sense of humor and enough intelligence to deliver something less-than-predictable in its key scenes.  It most certainly improves upon older creature features like *shudder* Night of the Lepus.  Hell, while not nearly as crazily violent, it's just as much fun as Dead Alive.

            Now if you'll excuse me, I have a climax involving sheep mutants to watch.

Wreck-It Ralph

I've been avoiding going to movies geared towards children not because I dislike them, but because I like to concentrate on the film.  Especially since nowadays a lot of kids' films throw in a few jokes for adults, you're rewarded for your attention to detail.  It's hard to pay that much attention when there are kids talking, screaming, running, and basically being children the moment they're asked to sit still for 90 minutes.

            For once that didn't stop me.  On Saturday I went out and saw Wreck-It Ralph, children be damned.  But a funny thing happened.  Not a single kid stirred from their seat, and barely a word was spoken for the entire 101 minute run-time.

            On to the review!

            For those of you who don't know, Wreck-It Ralph is a film about video games.  Or, more specifically, video game characters and what they do in their down-time when the arcade is closed.

            Poor Ralph (John C. Reilly) has been toiling away as the titular bad guy in Fix-It Felix Jr. for 30 years now, and the only thing he has to show for it is the fear and distaste of all the apartment dwellers.  The tenants would much rather spend time with Felix Jr. and his magic hammer.  Ralph is finally sick of being the bad guy, and goes on an adventure to earn his own medal, thinking that's all it will take for everyone to accept him (and maybe make him a cake).

            His adventure starts off poorly when he tries to earn a medal in Hero's Duty, a modern-day shooter.  His continued misadventures take him to Sugar Rush, our Mario Kart stand-in.  There he gets into some shenanigans with an unwanted racer named Vennelope von Shweetz (Sarah Silverman).  Meanwhile, Felix Jr. (Jack McBrayer) is hunting down Ralph before their game gets unplugged, enlisting the aid of Sergeant Calhoun (Jane Lynch) from Hero's Duty.

            Got all that?  Good.

            What's best about Wreck-It Ralph is the word that's built around the story.  The idea of characters travelling to other games via a game-central station, which is in reality the arcade's surge protector, is pretty ingenious.  Having characters from games we know about such as Q-Bert, Street Fighter and Super Mario Bros. is just an added treat.

            The movie is fun and smartly written, and the script manages to keep kid's interest while still delivering engrossing and intelligent dialog for us old fogeys.  Hell, there are only two poop jokes!

            Everyone delivers a great vocal performance and it seems like everyone was perfectly cast, or was at least having so much fun that you can't tell if they were just picking up a paycheck.  Jane Lynch especially delivers a great performance as the gruff leader who's seen too damn much and doesn't have time for your shit.  The only voice that threw me off was Felix's, because Jack McBrayer was quite literally playing the exact same role that he does in 30 Rock.  That was kinda weird.

            The animation is fantastic, and they even went so far as to have different characters from different games move, well, differently.  The apartment dwellers in Fix-It Felix have a jerky, old-timey animation style, while the characters from newer games move much more fluidly.  This visual clue is neat reminder of how far we've come in video game animation.

            If you even remotely enjoy kids' movies, video games and/or game references, or just want a solid story with great animation, you should do yourself a favor and check out Wreck-It Ralph.  It is easily just as good as some of my favorite Pixar films.

Flight

            I really wanted to see Man With The Iron Fists this weekend.  I really did.  I love every single aspect of the film, from the director to the producer to the actors.  The plot looks solid and the film strikes me as a good time.

           

            On to the review!

            So anyways, I saw Flight this weekend, and it's nice to see Robert Zemeckis direct a movie that didn't involve the uncannyvalley.  For a man who was pretty damn awesome for so long (Back to the Future, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Cast Away) I feared his releases for the last decade or so (Beowulf, The Polar Express, A Christmas Carol).  That there are almost no special effects in Flight is awesome.

            I recently received some constructive criticism that I may be a bit too spoiler-heavy, so let me try to relate why you should watch Flight during this crowded film season without giving anything away.

            Denzel Washington is Whip Whitaker, a supremely confident yet troubled pilot.  The opening scene does everything in its power to drive home the fact that Whip is not a hero per se, merely a man who performs a heroic act.  As you've seen by the trailer, he kind of lands a passenger aircraft under duress, at one point even flying upside-down.

            What the trailer doesn't tell you is that his story intertwines with that of Nicole (Kelly Reilly).  They meet shortly after the crash, and discover that they both have some demons that may or may not need exorcising.

            Most of the film follows Whip as he tries to deal with life during the lead-up to a hearing held after the crash investigation.  One of the things I liked most about Flight is how realistic the plot was.  After a crash, everything needs to be investigated and a scapegoat needs to be found.  The union wants to blame the airline or the manufacturer, while neither the airline nor the parts manufacturers are willing to take blame either.  This cat-fighting really helps add to the overarching tension of the movie.

            In Whip's corner are his union-appointed attorney Hugh Lang (Don Cheadle), his union rep Charlie Anderson (Bruce Greenwood)--who also served with Whip in the Navy--and Whip's lawyer, Harling Mays (John Goodman).  While everyone does a great job in their roles, Goodman once again delivers an outstanding, outsized performance despite limited screen time.  In fact, I'm not sure I've ever seen Goodman in a movie--good or bad--where I didn't like his performance.  He's like a much larger Christopher Walken.

            While a bit on the long side at 138 minutes, Flight makes up for it by rewarding your patience with incredible acting everywhere you look.  At no point was I bored or restless, nor did it seem that anyone in the theater could tear their eyes off the screen for even a moment.  Hell, this is the first time I can remember where not a single person in front of me (and I always sit in the back) got up to use the restroom!

            I absolutely will not be surprised to see Denzel Washington nominated for a Best Actor Oscar, and I would not be disappointed to see him win it.  He plays such a morally ambiguous character to such perfection that you are constantly unsure if you should root for or against him. 

            It's good to see Zemeckis back and directing people who are just people, not CGI or motion capture.  He still has incredibly skills, and this story keeps you guessing until the final scene.  You may hate me for this, but I don't care: I say this is far better than Forrest Gump and almost as good as Cast Away.