Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Red Dawn 1984


In 1984, America was introduced to the Wolverines.  A group of brave—some may say plucky—teenagers who were willing to do whatever it took to save their friends, their families, and their homes from an evil Communist intrusion.
            It’s going to happen again in 2012, but will it be anything like the first time?

On to the review!

            This week I double-down on Red Dawn.  I’ll check out the new one in Black Friday when everyone else is fighting over the last can of air at Best Buy; not because they need it, but because it’s the last thing left that’s marked down in the entire store.
            In the original version America is attacked by a Communist threat.  Russians, Cubans and (apparently) Nicaraguans come out of nowhere and completely overwhelm America’s defensive capabilities. (Thanks IMDB. I always assumed everyone was only Russian or Cuban.)
            Of course, this being Amer’ca, we don’t take kindly to invading forces.  If our gub’ment can’t protect us, we’ll just do it ourselves! 
So it’s no surprise that when a small Colorado town is invaded by paratroopers, several high school students flee into the surrounding countryside.  Why invade a small Colorado town?  He who controls the slops controls the universe, apparently.
Once safely hidden in the woods the kids demonstrate both their survival skills and their…hunting…abilities.  They make such a nuisance of themselves that the enemy is forced to expend a far greater amount of troops hunting them down than should have been necessary.  Once they join forces with a downed Air Force Colonel they become the greatest threat to Communist plans in all of Colorado.
            While the plot and the action are fun, Red Dawn ultimately combines two things that the 80’s did very well: action and our fear of the Red Menace.  And boy oh boy did they do just that!  It’s one of the most entertaining action flicks of the 80’s and it’s a rite of passage for many a young man.
Fun fact:  Watching Red Dawn as a teenage male is the absolute fastest way to grow pubic hair.
Then there is the fact that nowhere else in memory has a film showcased so many relative unknowns that went on to become well-known movie and television stars.  Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey had yet to do Dirty Dancing.  Lea Thompson was still a year away from Back to the Future.  Charlie Sheen was (allegedly) not yet a huge fan of hookers and coke.  Name another ensemble film that somehow cast 4 relative unknowns who went on to have even greater Hollywood success.
Do I like Red Dawn?  Hells yes I do.  Do I want to like the new one?  Of course!  Do I think I will?  Ummm…..

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