Before I get into this 'review,' I want to reiterate a few things. First off, I started doing this back in March for two reasons. I wanted to entertain people and I wanted to use a (moderately) stable schedule to be a better writer. If I help people decide if they want to watch a particular film or pique their interest in one of the few obscure films I write about, then awesome.
Really though, I don't like reading most film reviews. Everyone has different tastes and too often reviewers write in such specific terms that it really seems like they're telling the reader just what they should think.
Yeah, sometimes I get a little nasty or drool all over a film I love, but I like to think that I do it in a personal tone, as if I'm just giving you my opinion, rather than demanding you see things the same way I do. I don't have a film degree, I'm not a film student. I don't know anything about camera styles or film layouts. Hell, I'm not sure I can always tell the difference between a green screen or a painted backdrop.
I do this because I love movies, and I try to find something to enjoy in all of them. I want to compare a film to other movies that you, the reader, are familiar with so that you have something to compare it to. Giving it 3 out of 4 stars does nothing for you, because you don't know where the hell my standards are.
With that being said, here's your warning:
I am about to be very, very, very mean. It's all just a personal opinion, but holy shit is it a vehement one.
On to the review!
Jack and Jill is rated PG. It contains racism, anti-Semitism, ass jokes, fart jokes, poop jokes, sexual innuendos and disgusting bodily fluid. These all take place in the first half. Then it gets more irritating.
At least the plot summary is easy. Adam Sandler plays Jack Sadelstein, the identical twin of Jill Sadelstein, who is also played by Adam Sandler. Jack is a successful L.A. businessman whose company makes commercials. Jill is a 40-something woman who has never been married, or quite possibly ever been in a relationship. Jack is happy and well-adjusted with a wife and two children, one of who was adopted. Jill is a loud-mouthed idiot.
Basically, Sandler gets to play the smart, relaxed cool dude on one side while also reprising his irritating grandma-ish voice from those O-so-long-ago comedy albums. It's a win-win for every deaf person in the audience.
There's no depth here. Dunkin' Donuts has demanded that Jack get Al Pacino for their new Dunkaccino or they'll find another agency, which would put Jack's company out of business. Well, turns out that Mr. Pacino is a huge fan of obnoxious women who look a lot like Adam Sandler. But, of course, he's not her type.
Yeah, that's it. Problem is, that plot doesn't kick off until well over a third of the way into the film. First we have to sit through a long, drawn-out introduction so we can establish just how awesome and happy and well-adjusted Jack is and how annoying and obnoxious Jill can be.
Joke after failed joke occurs as Jill continues to demonstrate just how hilariously clueless she can be, by responding to a computer question with "You know I don't own a calculator!" and constantly arguing about what movie she's trying to think of, even when everyone keeps telling her the name of the actual movie she's trying to think of. Comedy!
Of course, we are first treated to a montage of Jack and Jill growing up, which is terrible. Mostly because it's not funny in the least and also because they saw the need to digitally alter the picture of the naked babies so they would have 'hilariously' huge asses. Farting in the tub, pooping really loud, farting in the theater, sweat-outlined blankets. This is what the movie reaches for, not as the lowest-denominator, but as the common denominator. They truly assume that the best way to improve on a fart joke is with a real fart, or talking about 'dropping chimichangas.'
Once the movie gets rolling we get to see Al Pacino play himself as a crazy stalker, obsessed with Jill and willing to do anything to have her. Meanwhile, Jack pretends to be nice to her even though she drives him crazy, and she continues to be irritating. The absolute worst part of the whole film, for me, was when the friendly gardener Felipe (Eugenio Derbez) takes her to a family picnic. At this point we are treated to an absolutely horrifying display of what white guys who have only met Mexicans when they checked on the hired help think a family get together should look like, complete with using jalapenos as smelling salts.
At least I figured out why they went with the whole commercial angle. It probably let them pay for 80% of the movie with product placement revenue. You get the greats like Pepto-Bismol, Craigslist, eHarmony, Kawasaki, Dunkin Donuts, and on and on and on.
They need it though, because everybody and their brother shows up in this movie. From the Shamwow guy to Regis Philbin, Norm MacDonald to Shaq, Drew Carey and of course Al Pacino. Also, lest I forget to mention them, everyone who has ever even stepped foot on the set of a Happy Madison production is invited back.
Normally I would be excited to see so many comedians in a comedy, but each and every cameo just gets more and more depressing, until you're finally face-to-face with David Spade dressed as a slutty woman. No, not 'a guy dressed as a slutty woman,' but a 'guy playing the role of a slutty woman in a movie.' Because apparently Adam Sandler is not allowed to be the only male actor playing a terrible, terrible caricature of a female.
I cannot really say anything more about this movie other than I hated it. From start to finish, I was bored, annoyed and angry, depending on what was on the screen. I think I cracked a smile once, but only because someone on screen was knocked unconscious.
I guess if you're still an Adam Sandler fan, you may enjoy this, or if you really love the same sort of comedy you get from those *** Movie films (Date Movie, Epic Move, etc.) then you might find something to enjoy. If you want to remember Mr. Sandler as Happy Gilmore or the dude from Punch Drunk Love, you probably want to stay away.
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