Today's film is...Sex Galaxy. This is a comedy made entirely out of public domain material with a dubbed soundtrack and voice actors. Also, there is lots of tits, and also tits.
The movie is basically about a group of guys who leave an earth that is overpopulated and banned sex until marriage. So yeah, the movie is a bunch of astronauts in a space ship talking about sex acts and then exploring a horny galaxy. Yeah, that's about it. Foul mouths, sex talk, bad marriage jokes and more tits. That's the film. There's really not much else to talk about except for the giant robot pimp.
Oh yeah, there's also a giant robot pimp. I'm sure it was a better idea on paper.
Otherwise, it's just a space romp made out of a bunch of old sci-fi movies, public service films and dancing/stripping/nudie clips.
It's kinda boring. There's some funny stuff going on, and the idea is clever, but in the attempt to make it ridiculous, they forgot to make it FUN. Or interesting. Or good.
The first 5 minutes are novel, the next 5-10 are amusing, and then it gets just...boring. Also, kinda shitty and not funny. The closing credits are mildly amusing though, if you can make it that far.
As always, we are in normal text and any quotes from the movie are in italics. Special thanks to Zeiram, Jacob and the ever-steady-like-a-rock Joe Cam!
"This may be the greatest thing we ever watch." "Yeah, it has promise." "It has tits." "It has tig ol' bitties."
"Is this a challenge to just see how many different film clips he can cram into one movie?"
"I appreciate how they're making absolutely no attempt to sync the words with the lip movement."
"Wow, that guy looks like a rapist." "Which one?" "Yes."
"Oh God we're totally going so fast....oh fuck!"
"Andy Richter?" (No, seriously, one of the astronauts totally looks like Andy Richter.)
"I can at least appreciate the fact that they got the word fucko's into this movie." "That guarantees them at least one star on Netflix."
"What if I just put my balls in it? I checked the rules, it's not illegal!" "I wanna dip my balls in it!"
"Haha! Moons of Venus! Boobies! Get it?"
"VU, that stands for Vagina Usurper."
(For 'plot purposes' the movie switches to a Sex Hygiene video and has graphic penis disease close-ups.) "I'm bird-sitting for my parents, and the bird has been strangely quiet for several minutes." "This movie is making my soul hurt." "Does this bring back memories of Japan?" "Fuck you that was crabs."
"So I was sick with a high fever and hallucinating a few days ago...it was kinda like this." "You mean I'm NOT on acid right now?"
"Part of me regrets watching this movie, and part of me realizes that this is the point."
"Part of me regrets watching this movie, and part of me realizes it's still the best movie we've seen in a month."
"This movie just makes me want to watch Black Dynamite." "This movie makes me really want to take a shit."
"This movie just makes me want to watch Black Dynamite." "This movie makes me really want to take a shit."
"This movie makes me miss Katherine Heigl." "That's pretty harsh." "At least stuff happened in those." "But this one has tits!"
"What is it with the boy band references whenever I'm around?"
"The people in the movie are paying about as much attention to it as we are."
At this point, every single person had to take a #2, so we paused the movie for a few minutes. Unfortunately, someone actually paused it.
"A dragon now? Really?" "Actually, it's Ridley."
"This just tells me that if we get together we can fuck around and make a movie." "No, you are the movie, Joe."
"I'm sorry, are you looking for continuity in a recycled film?"
"Hey look it's the same two tits again!"
"Nudity is less fun when it's the same nudity over and over and over."
(One guy is making annoying noises during a terrible sex scene.) "Shut the fuck up, you're ruining my rhythm."
"To the volcano!" "So we can drive into it and end this piece of shit!"
"Oh no, not in the hot sauce!"
"There's still 11 minutes left and they beat the bad guy...what're they gonna do now?" "Oh, I think you know." "Oh god...no." "Yup...get drunk and play DDR." "Oh..yeah, okay." "Then masturbate each other." "Damnit!"
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