Special freaking thanks to Joe Cam and Kat! Whooo!
Today is a treat. Supposedly a movie so crazy, so violent, so ridiculous there's no way I can't dislike its obnoxious, over-the-top violent tendencies. Also, it's Norwegian!
Dead Snow!!!
The movie does start off a bit slowly, setting up that two groups are heading to a cabin for some skiing, drinking and all-around winter fun. Those two groups are of course guys and girls. Apparently in Norway it's frowned upon to mix genders in a vehicle.
Once they get to the cabin there is about half an hour of character introduction and a warning from some random crazy old guy. Then, blood, gore and violence.
There's really not much more to it than that.
The plot is hair-thin. There is no explanation as to why the Nazis are zombies or why they're after our 'heroes.' (Well, until the end, and then it's kinda dumb.) You barely care about the people as individuals and get only the vaguest hint of humanizing elements from any of them. I don't mean you shouldn't care about them because they're all Norwegian and you probably don't speak their language, but because there's no real reason to learn their names since there's going to be a lot of dying.
The special effects are pretty good. The blood is over-the-top, and there is quite a bit of gore and guts. (You know you're watching ridiculous horror when someone climbs a dead guy's intestines up a cliff.)
So yeah. Not much else to talk about. This isn't a terrible, low-budget movie. This is a Norwegian horror movie and it's very interesting and different. Also, violent and crazy. Of course I don't recommend you just watching this on a whim, unless you're a fan of ridiculous horror. However, if you have a few people over or get a few beers in ya, then you WILL be entertained.
As always, our comments are in regular font, movie subtitles are italicized.
"I don't mind watching a foreign horror movie, because people scream in the same language!" "You're a retard." "Yes."
"So...he's got a skimobile and..what? He told everyone else to go fuck themselves and walk?" "That's the first time I've ever heard it called a skimobile."
"I swear she just said Evil Dead Anal 2." "Damnit! I still haven't seen Evil Dead Anal 1! I'm so far behind the times!"
"In Norway, sexy-time means suffocating your girlfriend?" "That definitely is NOT Business Time." (Flight of the Concords joke.)
"It's the Norwegian version of Harvey Keitel." "Damn, it really is!"
"Did he just say 'she's farting tiny tonight?'"
"Okay, Swedish Chef, in a Nazi Uniform as part of the zombie squad."
”We will be careful not to arouse the evil.” "The evil is my penis."
"I wanna know which word they're saying sounds like 'fuck this' because I've heard it a half dozen times."
"These are fast zombies, are they like ninja zombies?" "Dude, they're German Nazi zombies. He just rolled up and was like 'guten tag'."
"I just like how his haircut matches his body type: round." "He's like a skinnier, alive version of Chris Farley."
"The Nazi gold glows, that's a bad sign." "It's also Nazi Uranium. It's even more valuable because it has a half-life."
"He's gonna bump into a ton-ton any minutes now."
"Oh no, get off him, he's still got poop on his butt!" "Let him wipe first, you filthy whore."
(At this point, Joe Cam is making horrible farting noises during a sex scene.)
"Your ass just got saaaaacked!"
"For some reason I want them to break into a rendition of Karma Chameleon and I have no idea why."
"Mutant Nazi Zombies from the Hood?" "No, C. Thomas Howell isn't in this one."
"Why the fuck did we build this cabin out of balsa?"
"That is the proper response to zombies digging themselves out of the ground. 'Okay' and then run."
"The stench from the dreadlocks melted the snow."
"Never give a Norwegian power tools, that's how Vikings happen."
"Where's your friends, buddy? Oh wait, you don't need them." "Because your snowmobile doubles as a wood chipper."
"Never sneak up on a guy who is hacking a Nazi zombie with a hand axe, that's silly. Didn't they teach you that in elementary school?"
"Hey there, you okay? You're doing a little screaming. Buddy, you okay? "
"There's nothing worse than the Zombie Nazi thaw in Norway. Does this happen every year?" "Yeah, it's not talked about too much."
"Good thing that wooden box didn't burn in the giant wood fire." "It didn't burn because it's that special irradiated wood."
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