Priest 3D

There were approximately 8 previews before the movie, 7 of them in 3D.  I can say with all confidence that none of them will need to be seen in 3D to be enjoyed.  Yes, I use the term 'enjoyed' loosely as far as most of them are concerned.
Now, on to the review!

From the very beginning, Priest digs itself into a hole so deep that no amount of awesome can pull it out.  According to the lore of the film, mankind was slowly losing a war to vampires over the course of hundreds, if not thousands of years.  Finally, The Priests are discovered...evolved...developed...?  According to the film, they just happen, and they just happen to be man's salvation.  This is where things get silly.  Now that mankind has finally gained the upper hand over vampires, they do what any other species would do to a race of creatures whose sole existence is to destroy, devour, and eradicate every other living thing on the planet.  They put them on reservations! 
Now, if you, like most sane individuals, think that letting hundreds of homicidal killing machines live in poorly guarded areas with almost no overwatch...well, you are officially not dumb enough to give this movie more than two stars.
Suspension of belief aside, this film does very little in the way of making you give two Shih Tzus about anything.  Most human populations live in crappy, derelict cities ruled with an iron fist by the clergy.  Everyone is depressed, depressing, lifeless and dull. 
I will give credit where credit is due, however.  The trailers for this film made it look like it was going to be a fantastic, two-hour epic where man rejects blind faith and wages war on those bent on his destruction.  So whoever put that together, good job.  The reality of the film is barely 90 minutes worth of poor dialog, schlocky plot, and half-decent action scenes.  If I sit through a movie that isn't even an hour and a half long and still wish they had trimmed a good 15 minutes, well....shame on you, sir.  Shame on you.
I believe that you owe me and the other 8 people in the theater at least half of our ticket price back.

Go see this film if you have never seen a good post-apocalyptic, religion-dominates-the-world sort of movie, or if you love vampire flicks and don't care how dumb they are.  Personally, I recommend you go catch yourself some Equilibrium for your depressing future as run by a controlling ever-present ruling class fix, or go fire up the ol' Dusk 'Til Dawn for your cheesy vampire action flick.  I cannot think of a single film in either genre that I liked less than Priest.

Also, on a personal note...Hollywood?  I know you love to remake movies and try to update them, but now you're just getting silly.  A remake of Fright Night?  In 3D?  Really?