The Purge

             Never before had I encountered a movie so intent on reminding you of its title, overarching plot, and 'amazing ideas.'  Too bad none of it worked very well.

             Before I get into the meat of today's movie, however, I want to mention two things I'm actually enjoying in theaters before the movie starts.  This clever commercial, and this fantastic trailer.

            On to the review!

            Since I just couldn't bring myself to see The Internship a.k.a. The Wedding Crashers Part 2, I hit up The Purge, a movie I've been curious about for a few months.  The idea is sound, I'll give it that much.  Some day in the future, America gives in to its basest instincts and legalizes all forms of violence for 12 hours a year.  This keeps down crime the rest of the year, 'weeds out' the unwanted and keeps unemployment at under 1%.  Of course, the haves now have it even better than the have-nots, as they can hide behind security measures while the homeless and the poor are the ones most likely to be beaten, raped and murdered. 

            It also doesn't help that many of the rich purposely go outside in packs, heavily armed and armored, to 'purge' their baser instincts.  The Purge is basically the wet dream of a sociopath who goes to sleep reading Ayn Rand every night.  Which is fine, because it's trying to make a statement.  A statement that would have been perfect if this were 1970.  Unfortunately, between its being so incredibly heavy-handed and so boringly predictable, The Purge is going to be one of the most easily forgotten films of 2013.

            We begin with James Sandin (Ethan Hawke) coming home from a successful day where he found out that his team sold the most security systems leading up to the night of the Purge (they will say 'the purge' roughly 10452389 times in this 85 minute movie).  Very proud of himself, he is in a good mood as he has dinner with his wife Mary (Lena Hadey) and his children Charlie (Max Burkholder) and Zoey (Adelaide Kane).  It is in this good mood that they prepare for lockdown and wait out the next 12 hours of their life.

            Things almost immediately take a turn for the worse as Charlie lets in a desperate homeless man who is running for his life.  At the same time, we find out that Zoey's 18 year old boyfriend Henry (Tony Oller) had snuck in just before lockdown because he wants to prove to her father that he really loves his daughter. 

            So we have a hormonal teenager and an unwanted stranger wandering around this ridiculous mansion during a time where there are no laws.  Of course, that's not bad enough, so a pack of rich-kid hunters in masks show up and demand that the Sandins turn over the homeless man or they will all be killed. 

            Still sounds pretty cool on paper, huh?  The problem is, it's all very dead and dull.  Despite being so incredibly short, the first 45 minutes are dedicated to damn near nothing.  When we do get to the action, it's very stuttering.  This in itself would still be okay if the non-action setpieces weren't so amazingly boring.  None of the characters really pop out as interesting in any way, and again, it's a very predictable movie.  Even the twists make so much sense the only words you'll utter will be 'well, duh.' 

            Admittedly, there is one scene that was actually fascinating, as it explored just how far James was willing to go to protect his family.  Will he go against his principles to make sure his wife and children survive? 

            Feel free to do what I did and purge The Purge from your memory.  If you've seen it, I'm sorry.  If you haven't, well, give it a rent.  If you're still dying to see a movie about psychotic strangers making innocent people's lives hell, go watch Funny Games.  Hell, even The Strangers is a better film.