The Thaw, or How A Movie Made Before Birdemic Feels Just Like Birdemic

            It's very rare that I watch a movie recommended to me and am reminded of a different film recommended to me.  The second film was recommended just for Mainstreamin' because of how utterly terrible it was: Birdemic: Shock and Terror.  If you've seen it, you know it was created out of love and a terrible, amazing inability to craft a film.  The one I just finished was recommended by a fellow horror lover, and interestingly enough it came out before Birdemic.  That film is The Thaw.

            On to the review!

            Both films act as thinly veiled commentary on how poorly we treat Mother Earth.  While Birdemic was content with shoving it down our throats through poor acting, a terrible script and absolutely no special effects, The Thaw does it through half-decent acting, a terrible script and some of the grossest scenes I've ever witnessed.  And remember, I once watched a film where a naked woman ate her own feces with a spoon.

            The Thaw takes us to a remote island in the far, far north, in the fabled land of Canada.  Because of global warming, a research team makes an incredible discovery in a melting iceberg: a nearly perfectly preserved wooly mammoth.  Unfortunately, within that mammoth is a terrible creature that will happily destroy life on earth as we know it and was only stopped the first time by the Ice Age.

            Lending a little bit of respectability to the film is Val Kilmer as the lead researcher (Dr. Kruipen), a well-respected scientist and an outspoken critic of mankind's march towards devastation.  He wants nothing more than to take everyone by the shoulders, shake them, and show them just what they're doing to fuck up our entire ecology.

            Aside from his largely forgettable research team, he is belatedly joined by four student researchers who were chosen to study alongside Dr. Kruipen long before he made his horrific discovery.  Since this is a remote area and poor communication is to be expected, they land at the main camp while the Dr.'s team is still studying the mammoth.

            Oh, and his daughter Evelyn (Martha MacIsaac) is one of the four students.  So that sucks.  For her.

            The plot unfolds as the evil creatures are unleashed on the unsuspecting students from a polar bear carcass that had been dragged to the main camp.  And by 'unfolds' I mean horrible, horrific scenes that will make your skin crawl and leave you needing a shower.

            Like I said before, The Thaw is all about convincing you of the dangers of mankind's selfishness.  Global warming is one problem, yes, but just like Birdemic, it suggests that eventually Mother Nature will openly oppose us via her menagerie of critters.

            Is it as heavy-handed?  No, of course not.  Nothing else ever made in the history of anything will ever be as ham-fisted as Birdemic.  Or as terrible (I sincerely hope).  But the plot isn't much better and the acting is on par with any direct-to-DVD horror film.  What it does have going for it is an absolutely gorgeous location with a genuinely claustrophobic feel to it, which is impressive considering that they're in the middle of thousands of acres of untouched wilderness.  Also, there's the gore.  Lots of creepy scenes and a few breathtakingly violent ones will wrench you out of your happy place and show you just what a few scared, desperate souls are capable of when confronted with something beyond their control.

            If you're a horror fan who enjoyed watching Bug or Slither, you're going to get similar levels of creepiness and violence.  What you're not going to get is a very good story, but at least you'll be better informed on global warming?