Pain and Gain

            I'm incredibly conflicted.  On the one hand, Michael Bay is definitely a talented filmmaker.  On the other hand, I hate most of his catalog.  One might say that it is a pain to admit but I've managed to gain respect for the man.

            Ugh, that was terrible.

            On to the review!

            Pain and Gain is Michael Bay's attempt at a 'small' movie.  It only cost $25 million to make, or as I like to refer to it, one Optimus Prime.  Usually his films cost at least four Optimus Primes and end up being...well, see for yourself.  While a large majority of the movies he has ever had a hand in, either as director or producer, has made money, almost all of them were viewed as kinda shitty.  Don't even get me started on the movies that were the trifecta of expensive, terrible, and flops.

            But what does all this have to do with Pain and Gain?  Well, I just wanted you to see it compared to its peers.  It's a tiny, cheaply done movie.  There is only one, read it one explosion during its entire 2 hour, 9 minute run time.  It actually focuses on characters instead of fireballs.  In other words, it's different.  If I have to compare it to any other Bay film in existence, I would liken it to The Rock because of its star-studded cast and absolutely ridiculous plot.

            This time the plot is taken from the true story of Daniel Lugo (played here by Mark Wahlberg), an ex-con personal trainer who just wants to make something of himself.  He wants the American dream but all he can seem to do just get by.  So he takes it upon himself to become a 'doer' and hatches a plan to become a millionaire overnight.  Unfortunately for everyone involved, rather than find a way to become a self-made man he decides to steal the fortune of an actual self-made man, Victor Kershaw (Tony Shalhoub).

            Knowing he can't do this alone, Lugo ropes in two of his coworkers, Paul Doyle (Dwayne Johnson) and Adrian Doorbal (Anthony Mackie).  After a few false starts, they succeed in kidnapping Victor and all they have to do now is get him to sign away his entire fortune.  Easy, right?  Well, if it were easy, it wouldn't be a Michael Bay movie now would it?

            What's interesting is that this is all based on a true story.  There are even a few moments where the film stops to remind you that this shit really totally happened.  Yet there are moments where it almost begs for suspension of disbelief.  I personally couldn't believe that anyone could be such a terrible criminal mastermind.  I may never know just what parts of the movie were really real and which parts were added for entertainment purposes, but if even one tenth of what I saw actually happened, then poor Daniel Lugo wins the award for worst criminal in the history of Florida.

            Anyways, back to the actual film.  The best part of Pain and Gain is the acting.  Every single person in this film seems to have been cast just right, there are not too many characters, and not only are they all good in their roles, it's obvious that they're having a total blast.  Dwayne Johnson was especially fantastic in his role as a reformed coke-head who found Jesus and went straight.  Seeing him wrestle verbally and morally with the rest of his crew were some of the highlights of the film. 

            A few of the other cast members include Ed Harris, Rob Cordry, Ken Jeong, Rebel Wilson and Bary Paly, who were all great. Rebel Wilson steals the show at times with some great lines to add some dry humor to a movie that refuses to be taken seriously.

            So what are my problems with Pain and Gain?  Well, it's too damn long, for starters.  As usual, Mr. Bay just does not know how to edit a movie into a tight little package.  There are way too many voiceovers.  Damn near every single character gets to narrate their own back-story.  Then more characters get additional narration time to explain scenes or thoughts or deeds.  While a few times is fine (I actually appreciated it as a way to introduce our main characters)  it was used roughly a dozen times, and that's just too damn much.

            If you get motion sick, you may very well have a problem with the opening scene and a few other points of the film.  As usual, Bay shows his technical prowess with a few totally amazing shots, but holy shit are some of them like watching a guy ride a bronco.

            Complaints aside, Pain and Gain has joined The Rock as the only other Michael Bay film that I actually, truly, genuinely enjoy.  Bay did a smart move by hiring talented, competent actors with not a single LeBeouf in sight.  Do I want to watch it again?  Yes, I think I'd like to check out the Blu-Ray when it comes out, which is more than I can say for any Transformers film, or The Island or Pearl Harbor or Armageddon...well, you get the idea.