Evil Dead

            What kind of idiot family brings a toddler to an R-Rated horror movie?  I mean, do we really need to do that to any kid?  I don't care how well-behaved the child is.  That isn't the issue.  The issue is that there is some serious potential to give that kid the kind of scares that could stay with them for years.  And I'm not just talking out my ass on this one.

            Through no fault of my parents', I was introduced to some of the best horror movies ever made when I was a bit too young to appreciate them.  Already being a scaredy-cat to begin with, I ended up avoiding horror movies for a large chunk of my childhood because of the nightmares they would induce.  Hell, I still remember an incident in 4th grade when the girls got caught playing Bloody Mary in the bathroom.  We ended up having a 60 minute discussion in class about all the sorts of horror stories everyone in the classroom knew about.  After that, I didn't talk for three days.

            It wasn't until I was an 'adult' (I have to use that term loosely, because I don't think I'm an adult yet in any sense other than the one society defines) that I overcame my fears and ended up becoming a horror addict.

            I don't wish anything ill upon the kid in that movie theater yesterday, but I do hope that if the poor guy has nightmares, that he wakes up his parents in the middle of their REM sleep.  Repeatedly.

            On to the review!

            I have been a fan of the Evil Dead films for well over a decade.  Evil Dead II was one of the first horror movies I watched in my late teens, and it was just amazing.  A perfect blend of horror, comedy, and action.  I then went on to see Army of Darkness and the original Evil Dead.  The theory I have always had was that the first Evil Dead was the movie director Sam Raimi could make on his limited budget.  Evil Dead II was the movie he wanted to make and so it was a partial remake/reimagining/pseudo-sequel to the first.  If that's so, then the new Evil Dead is also a remake of the original, but instead of being a horror/action/comedy, it's a straight-up brutal blood-soaked horror.

            Everyone got that?  Good.

            The new Evil Dead goes the smart route from the beginning and casts absolutely no super-famous people.  We don't want to be distracted by movie stars when there's murdering to be done.

            In this version, friends and family members have gathered at a remote cabin in the woods to try and help Mia (Jane Levy) go cold turkey from her debilitating drug addiction.  Her brother David (Shiloh Fernandez) swears up and down that he's there for her, but he also hasn't been around for several years, instead burying himself at work while his sister dealt with their mother's mental illness and subsequent death.

            Lots of sunshine and flowers right from the get-go.

            Three friends, Eric (Lou Taylor Pucci), Olivia (Jessica Lucas) and Natalie (Elizabeth Blackmore) round out the rest of the cast.  For everyone familiar with the Evil Dead films, it's not a question as to which of them will die, but a question of in what order will they bite the dust.  If you think that last sentence was a spoiler, then you obviously have no idea what a good horror film is.

            Things are going pretty well throughout the first day, with Mia having some rough but controllable withdrawal.  Unfortunately, shit goes down when they discover that the cabin's basement had been the source of some sort of witchcraft and is now filled with dead, rotting animal carcasses.  Amidst those carcasses is *gasp* a book!  Wrapped in a trash bag and surrounded by barbed wire, one would think that the book should just be ignored. 

            Of course, Eric can't help himself, so once he is alone with the book, he gets it open and starts to read passages out loud, despite the warnings scribbled all over the pages.

            Once read aloud, those passages unleash an ancient evil that immediately sets out to devour the souls of all 5 cabin dwellers.  Of course.

            What follows is simple: horrific brutality.  Nothing is spared in bringing terror to life as the demonic entity sows violence and chaos within the cabin as it toys with, tortures and murders its inhabitants.

            While I usually frown on remakes, especially horror remakes, when I heard that the new Evil Dead was being produced by both Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell I got a little bit excited.  When they both spoke highly of the new film, I had a hard time not getting my hopes up.  Once I actually saw the new vision of the Evil Dead, all my fears were allayed.

            This remake is absolutely worth your time if you are an Evil Dead fan.  Yes, it eschews much of the subtle and not-so-subtle comedy that the series became known for in the sequels, but it brings all the claustrophic horror of being trapped in a cabin with the unknown to the fore. 

            Just don't bring your toddler, ok?

Pssst!  Stay for the credits.