Yesterday I got back from a camping excursion on an island. Despite being exhausted, I proceeded to stay up for 8 more hours. These hours included eating a nice dinner with my lovely wife and some friends, doing a bit of cleaning and seeing The Three Stooges.
Now I’m going to tell you all about that movie in as few words as possible. Then I can go back to being half-asleep, cranky and sunburnt.
On to the review!
If you don’t like the original Three Stooges with Larry, Curly and Moe (and Shemp and Joe), then don’t even bother. Just stop reading this now, don’t go see the new movie, and reconcile yourself with the fact that you are a ‘humorless cyborg who doesn’t grasp greatness.’ (An actual twitter quote.) I was more of a Marx Brothers guy myself, but I can enjoy the Stooges is small bits. 90 minutes was pushing it, but I’ll take into consideration that I wasn’t the target audience of this completely unnecessary reboot.
If you liked the original stuff, you’ll be fine with this. It’s more of the same, only updated for the 21st Century, which means some of it will tick you off.
The three new Stooges are as follows:
· Sean Hayes is Larry and I could not get over his makeup. Acting was decent.
· Chris Diamantopoulos is Moe and he was just too forced-frowny most of the time. Good line delivery.
· Will Sasso was Curly. A few more nyuk-nyuk’s than I remember, but I think it’s safe to say that Mr. Sasso found a way to resurrect and control Jerry Howard’s soul.
As for the rest of the cast, Jane Lynch was miscast as Mother Superior, Larry David is a cross-dressing nun and only seems to be there to take the brunt of Stooge-on-nun violence, Jennifer Hudson’s part only exists because they wanted a fan-freaking-tastic voice for a 30 second gag, and Sofia Vergara shows a lot of cleavage.
Plot: Stooges grow up in an orphanage. Adult stooges try to save the orphanage. They get mixed up in a murder plot, Moe becomes a cast member of Jersey Shore, they don’t save the day, then they do save the day, then they don’t, then they do. The end, roll credits.
Notable acts: Lots of slapstick here. Duh.
Some great wordplay at a lawyer’s office, too many poop/pee jokes. At one point they have an outdoor super-soaker fight where everyone gets drenched. Except they’re not outdoors, they’re in a maternity ward. Also, they don’t use super-soakers; they squeeze babies and make them pee everywhere.
There’s also a creepy and pointless music video during the credits. I think I would have much rather seen an outtake reel.
10 year old Stooges are creepy and were a terrible idea.
The 'Farrelly Brothers' (no, it wasn't really them) came out at the end of the movie to remind kids to 'not try this at home.' Interesting idea, but they were very, very, very serious faced about it. It made the whole thing kinda weird.
The Three Stooges was geared towards kids, offering all the slapstick you remember plus some ‘updated’ stuff that adds nothing to what made the originals so beloved. You’ll probably get a chuckle out of it, but I doubt tit will spark any kind of Stooges revival. Go rent the originals and relive the good times. Or check out some Marx Brothers instead.
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