Bad Ass

            I had every intention of doing my very first Notflix review.*  However, a funny thing happened when I sat down with my friend Joe Cam and his wonderfully understanding wife Ashley.  The film we viewed was way too good to make fun of.  I mean, we did throw in a few humorous quips, but I ended up enjoying the movie so much I decided to give you a full-on review.

            On to the redundant line that’s almost like the previous sentence!

            For those of you not living in a major metropolitan area, it saddens me to inform you that you probably won’t be able to see Danny Trejo in theaters, showing off his acting chops in Bad Ass.  Fortunately they paired their very limited release with a rent-to-watch scheme.  You can download the movie from some entertainment services and cable providers in both regular and HD versions.  No, I don’t want to tell you how much they’re charging.  I prefer the taste of your tears when they’re full of hurt and disappointment.

            Bad Ass is a strange mix of Hobo with a Shotgun (minus the shotgun) and that viral video that came out last year where the old man beat the shit out of a guy on the bus.  Hell, they’re pretty blunt about that second part, seeing as how Mr. Trejo wears the same outfit.

            The plot itself is really simple.  Danny Trejo is Frank Vega, a guy who let life pass him by and never got to do what he wanted, due to an injury he sustained in Vietnam.  Now, in 2010, he’s suddenly recognized and beloved because he beat the snot out of two Hitler Youth that were harassing bus passengers.  This newfound fame and local recognition makes him happier than he’s been in decades.

            Of course, now that things are going well for him, he has to deal with the personal loss of the two people closest to him.  This being mostly an action film, the moment he’s done mourning he decides to take matters into his own hands.  The majority of the film follows Vega as he searches for the killers of his best friend Klondike (Harrison Page) because the cops don’t seem to be doing anything at all.  The plot twist, dun-dun-duuuun, is that Klondike had entrusted a flash drive into Frank’s hands just before he was brutally murdered.

            It’s nice to see a starring vehicle for Danny Trejo that allows him to do more than just scowl and kill people.  As much as I non-ironically enjoy him in movies like Machete, Predators, and Con Air, I think he does have acting ability.  It’s just that most casting calls don’t even bother to look for it.  This time, however, we do get to see a little bit of his softer side -- just before he punches someone down the snack food isle.

            Before you freak out from worry, yes he does have a love interest, and no there is no nudity.  I’m sick of all of you assuming that just because it’s rated R and stars Danny Trejo, there’s gotta be nudity somewhere.  (Ok yes there is nudity, you got me.)

            In other actor news, Ron Perlman is the Mayor and Charles S. Dutton is our poorly named protagonist, Panther.

            Please, do yourself and the film a favor by grabbing it as a rental.  Get enough people over that the rental fee is chump change.  Or get all your friends to promise sexual favors in return for you picking up the tab.  It really is a fun movie.  It has great one-liners, an entertaining plot and a good cast of characters. 

There is some negative, and I’ll at least give you a head’s up.  It’s not original at all, taking plot points from many other movies. It takes its cinematic styles from movies like Crank 2 and The Bourne series, and a lot of the dialog that isn’t a one-liner is pretty dang corny.  Despite all this it’s still incredibly entertaining, which I think reflects even more positively on the actors.

            I also liked it a lot more than Hobo With A Shotgun and, honestly, more than Machete.  So give your money to Danny Trejo.  Before he straight up takes it.

*Remember when I did the Netflix reviews of terrible movies in an Xbox Live party?  Then reviewed the film and wrote down any funny/memorable quotes that were made during the viewing?  Yeah, well, that part of Netflix wasn’t compatible with the new Xbox Live, so it had to be canned.  Now, on the rare occasions that I can leash a live audience to the couch for 2 hours, I’ll put up on Notflix film review.