Pacific Rim

            It's going to be difficult writing this review without sounding like I'm gushing.  But whatever, screw it.  It's about time I loved a summer popcorn flick that didn't have the Marvel name attached to it.

            On to the review!

            This weekend I found a very excellent reason to not see GrownUps 2.  That reason is that I don't hate myself.  Instead, I went to check out Pacific Rim for 3 reasons.  First off, I'm a big fan of Guillermo del Toro.  Hellboy and Pan's Labyrinth were both great movies (for totally different reasons).  Secondly, it looked like an action movie that was actually fun.  Thirdly, giant freaking robots. 

            I love giant robots.  Which is weird, because I'm really picky about which anime I watch that involves giant robots.  Both Gundam Wing and Evangelion bored me to death and Rahxephon never kept me interested enough to actually finish it.  But stuff like Tekken Toppa Gurren Lagann and even the recent Suisei no Gargantia entertained me to no end.  (Fun fact, Gurren Lagann is both my 3rd favorite anime of all time and the cause of the biggest fight I've ever had with a loved one in my life.)

            Aaaaaanyways, Pacific Rim has giant robots beating up aliens, and it was directed by Guillermo del Toro, and it's an action flick.  I wanted to be there on opening day, and I was.

            The movie starts off with a run-down of what happened to get the planet to its current state.  It starts in 2020 and picks up several years later.  Fortunately, even the prologue is action-packed enough to keep just about anyone interested even while cramming information down the audience's throats.  We need to find out what's up with the aliens (Kaiju) and get some clues as to where they came from.  This spins us up on why the robots (Jaegers) were built.  It also gives us some clues as to the main character's mindsets and attitudes.

            Interestingly, there's a lot going on for a simple action flick.  There's the main character's quest for control and redemption.  There's also the grizzled old warrior, a hotshot kid, a mysterious lady, the experienced soldier, and even two scientists looking for answers.  Yet somehow Pacific Rim merges all these characters and storylines together into a cohesive unit and an entertaining story.  Yes, it is totally a summer blockbuster bubblegum flick, but it's one with half a brain.

            At 131 minutes, it could have been just as dreary and boring as The Lone Ranger, but del Toro did what Gore Verbinski could not: he paced everything out properly.  There are no 20 minute dialogs.  There are no yawn-inducing moments or shitty characters.  Basically, there is no wasted space.

            While I could easily go on about every character in the film and how entertaining they all were in their own right, I just want to briefly mention a few of them.  Charlie Hunnam was fine as Raleigh Becket, our main character and voiceover guy.  Yes, he was wooden.  I can't deny that.  But he almost seemed like a cipher placed there to keep the story moving.  But yes, he was genuinely overshadowed both in acting and story.  Idris Elba (as Stacker Pentacost) was the perfectly cast, perfectly played old commander, and Rinko Kikuchi was just fantastic as Mako Mori, the mysterious girl with a hidden past. 

            While I enjoyed everyone else, I really have to say that Charlie Day was the heart of this film.  As Dr. Newton, he tries to figure out why the Kaiju are attacking, while everyone else focuses on how to destroy the threat.  During his travels within the film, he ends up delivering a large chunk of the humor as well as a few memorable lines.  I gotta hand it to the guy, he's definitely becoming a singular reason to check out a film.

            So, before I spoil any of the plot, let me just say that I enjoyed Pacific Rim very, very much.  It is now the very first film of 2013 that I intend to purchase when it comes to video.  It is also the first summer film of the year that I highly recommend seeing in theaters, because the special effects are way too great to see them for the first time on a tiny TV set.

            This is no Independence Day.  Pacific Rim purposefully avoids nationality and becomes a "Humanity, fuck yeah!" celebration.

            Also, apparently you should stay for the credits.  I didn't, but then I heard that you should.  Guess I'll just have to go see it again.

Iron Man 3

            Writing a review about a movie that didn't disappoint you is tough.  Especially when it met or exceeded most of your expectations.  So think of today as 'Mainstreamin' Lite.'

            On to the review!

            I went to the 1120 a.m. showing of Iron Man 3 yesterday and guess what?  The theater was pretty packed.  Fortunately I got a decent seat and didn't have to wish I had gone to the 945 a.m. showing.  (Yes, my local theater was screening Iron Man 3 when most 20-somethings aren't even awake yet.  That's how you know you've got a money-maker.)

            Once we got through nearly 30 minutes of trailers and the film started, I was admittedly a bit worried.  An Eiffel 65 song?  Flashbacks?  Mullets?  Fortunately my fears were alleviated within the first 15 minutes and I was once again sucked into the Marvel universe.

            This time around Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) doesn't seem to have much to do with his time other than tinker with his existing suits and build new ones.  After the threat that the Avengers put down, there doesn't seem to be anyone willing to take up the bad guy mantle and threaten the world.  While that would normally be good news, the events of The Avengers rattled Stark to the core and now he has panic attacks as well as difficulty sleeping.

            This is the situation we find Stark in when The Mandarin (Ben Kingsley) starts taking over the airwaves, claiming taking responsibility for deadly explosions killing Americans all over the world.   And that's all I'm going to say about the plot.  The trailers did a fantastic job of selling an action-packed superhero film without spoiling anything and I'm going to do the same.

            As far as the actors go, everyone played their part well.  (It's actually been awhile since I was disappointed by the acting.  Maybe The Great Gatsby will break that trend?)  Robert Downey Jr. was Tony Stark, and there were a ton of fantastic one-liners.  Don Cheadle as Colonel Rhodes wasn't in this one too much, but he made the best of his screen time.  Gwyneth Paltrow was a fantastic Pepper Pots, as usual, and I really wish Jon Favreau was in more movies.           

           The special effects were unsurprisingly good, and yeah, that's about it.  Iron Man 3 was not a disappointment and the plot was better than I had expected.  They definitely made up for Iron Man 2's flat, meh plot.  If you're into superhero movies, this is a good one to start the summer with.  Now all you have to do is cross your fingers and hope that the rest of them are this enjoyable.

Olympus Has Fallen

            January and February are seen as a dumping ground for movies that wouldn't release well at any other time of the year.  April is when films take a tentative step upwards in preparation for the beginning of blockbuster season in May.  So what the hell is March for?

            I'm starting to think it's exclusively for decent comedies and terrible action films.

            On to the review!

            Yesterday I shelled out $11 to see Olympus Has Fallen, a new film by Antoine Fuqua, a man who has had, shall we say, his ups and downs.  He's helmed some fantastic films such as Training Day and The Replacement Killers while also giving us such forgettable movies like Shooter and King Arthur.  I'm just going to go ahead and give you a TL;DR on this one:  Olympus Has Fallen is possibly his worst movie ever.

            In it, President Benjamin Asher (Aaron Eckhart) is taken hostage by a terrorist organization that wants North Korea to invade South Korea.  There's more to it than that, but that's the gist.  Everything runs flawlessly during the attack on the White House (code name Olympus) except for one tiny little detail.  Former Secret Service Agent Mike Banning (Gerard Butler) survives the initial attack on the White House and is now freely roaming its halls, attempting to save the day and assuage the guilt he has from an earlier failure.

            Of course Banning is a one-man murdering machine and he may actually succeed at taking down a terrorist organization that successfully murdered every single Secret Service Agent in the White House.

            Basically, Olympus Has Fallen wants to be like the reboot of Red Dawn with some Die Hard thrown in by making Butler just as unstoppable as Bruce Willis.  What it ends up doing is quite literally trying to give all of America a handjob while simultaneously massaging our egos.  "Hey, even if terrorists did attack the very center of our nation, someone, somehow, will kill the shit out of them and then we'll be even stronger than before."

            The problem is, in order for this attack to have been successful in the real world, we as a nation would quite literally have to fall into a coma.  There is no other way that the sheer stupidity and lack of common sense evident in this film could ever occur.

            Now, I'm not against suspension of belief in order to enjoy a movie.  But as someone who absolutely loves war movies and battle tactics, I can only suspend my belief, not completely disregard reality.  The entire film treats everyone who is not Gerard Butler, from soldiers and police officers all the way up to Pentagon generals, as tactical neophytes.  Banning is quite literally the only person in the entire film who can do anything other than point a gun and say 'bang.'

            The worst part is that Olympus Has Fallen absolutely wastes talented actors.  Morgan Freeman, Angela Bassett and Dylan McDermott are merely there to keep the movie afloat when Butler is off camera. 

            On top of that, the bad guy is so damn ridiculously one-dimensional and over-the-top that I feel like they really shouldn't have cast such a talented man in Rick Yune.  It seems like the movie wanted to make him Butler's foil just like Alan Rickman was to Bruce Willis. The problem is, Rickman had a script to work from and scenery to chew.  Poor Mr. Yune has neither of those things.

            Should you go see Olympus Has Fallen?  No, no you should not.  If you must watch an Antoine Fuqua movie that involves a good actor and lots of guns, go re-watch Tears of the Sun.  Even though that's not exactly a great movie, it's an Oscar contender compared to this.

The Amazing Spider-Man

            The moment it was announced that Spider-Man was going to undergo a full reboot, the world groaned.  “We all know the origins,” yelled the huddled masses.  “Spider-Man came just came out a decade ago.  Hell, it’s responsible for kick starting the current Marvel movie franchise.  Seriously, can’t you just pick up where he’s 30 or something?  Find a different storyline!”

            I was definitely one of those angry voices in the crowd masses.  There are so many Spider-Man stories out there; it seemed a waste to make another 2-hour movie about his origins.  Couldn’t Marvel have selected one of the many fantastic stories involving adult Peter Parker?

            At the very least, couldn’t they have cast someone who wasn’t almost 30 to play the teenager?

            I’ve since learned that our fears were unfounded, and that the guy they cast was perfect for the role, Dr. Who hair or no.

            I’ve also learned that people shouldn’t take a bored, hyperactive 5 year-old to a 136 minute film.

            On to the review!

            TheAmazing Spider-Man is 2012’s answer to 2002’s Spider-Man.  Gone are Tobey Maguire, super-whiney Kirsten Dunst and director Sam Raimi.  While I have and will always love most Sam Raimi films, his take on Spider-Man always had a tint of whimsy and it always seemed too self-aware, as if everyone walked around with a knowing half-smirk on their lips.  By allowing a new director to take the helm we’ve been given a chance to see the Spider-Man universe through a much more realistic tint.

            Marc Webb primarily did music videos before directing the only other film to his credit.  That film turned out to be 2009’s amazing (500) Days of Summer, which, on a completely unrelated note, you should watch.  Fortunately for us, despite his relative freshness to the world of mega-movie franchises, he has displayed a very deft hand and given us a whole new world to explore. 

            The one argument that was made by many, many people when the Amazing Spider-Man trailer dropped was that it looked too much like another gritty reboot.  Honestly, it looked to me like Marvel to imitate Christopher Nolan’s Batman films.  I’m here to tell you that I was absolutely wrong.  Yes, it is more realistic.  No, realism does not automatically imply grittiness.

            At the start of the film we’re given a very quick introduction to Peter Parker’s real parents, as a very young Peter discovers a break-in at their home, causing mom and dad Parker to flee the house, leave Peter with his Aunt May (Sally Field) and Uncle Ben (Martin freaking Sheen), and then die in a plane crash. 

            Cut to ‘now’ and Peter is a fantastically awkward high school teenager, whose only talents seem to be photography and being a brainiac.  Neither of these talents endears him to his fellow High School students.  (Peter Parker is now played by 29 year old Andrew Garfield, who has the sort of face that will get him carded for cigarettes when he’s 50).  It doesn’t much matter to him, however, as the only person he wants to notice him is the lovely Gwen Stacy, played by the lovely Emma Stone. 

            Once we’ve gotten through the awkwardness that is Peter’s normal day, the plot picks up.  Peter discovers some old paperwork of his father’s that concerns combining human and animal DNA.  This was apparently an attempt to help people heal from untreatable injuries.  This leads him to Oscorp to seek out his father’s old partner, Dr. Connors (Rhys Ifans).  Then yadda-yadda, radioactive spider, super powers, blah blah blah.

            At this point Marvel tries something different.  Whereas the 2002 Peter Parker sort of reveled in his newfound powers and spent time letting it go to his head, the 2012 version spends a lot of time trying to adapt to it.  This time our character wants to understand just what the hell is going on, rather than reacting like he just won the lottery.

            Don’t get me wrong, there’s still an incident between Peter and his tormenter Flash Thompson (Chris Zylka), but this time it actually serves a purpose aside from simple showing off.

            Then comes the moment we all knew was going to happen.  Due to a series of very unfortunate events, Uncle Ben is gunned down.  Thing is, Peter got a good look at the assailant and he becomes a sort of vigilante, desperately wanting to bring his Uncle’s killer to justice. 

Unfortunately for him, the city of New York doesn’t take kindly to vigilantism, so Captain Stacy (Denis Leary, also Gwen’s father) declares Spider-Man a wanted criminal.

At this point, poor one-armed Dr. Connors jumps the gun on his experimentation in an attempt to regrow his arm.  He only does this because the Oscorp suits follow through with their threat to begin human trials of the new drug.  As we all know from the trailers, it doesn’t quite go right and he is transformed into The Lizard, and also a raving psychopath.

All if this happens in the first 90 minutes or so, leaving the last 45 minutes for plot fulfillment and fantastic action scenes.  The special effects are amazing, and I have to admit that I was glad I went to the 3D version as it really, truly added to the spectacle.  I think 3D is starting to get used enough that Hollywood has worked a lot of the kinks out of the system, and action spectacles are the best place to show off the technology.

Most importantly-- even more important than how well filmed the fight scenes are-- is the fact that everyone in this movie acts.  Yes, it’s Martin freaking Sheen, but holy crap he is Uncle Ben.  Every person cast for their role falls into it so well that you are rarely distracted by all the well-known big-name actors. 

Like I mentioned before, this film is realistic.  I mean that in the sense that everything flows naturally.  Everyone reacts in ways that are believable, and no part seems forced.  While there are moments of heroism, they make sense to the situation.  I was really and truly enraptured for the entire length of the film.  Despite the best attempts of distraction by someone’s very bored, very young child sitting next to me who enjoyed kicking the side of his armrest or doing bicycle kicks, I still loved going to the theater for this film.  On the plus side, that kid’s going to have some killer leg strength when he grows up.

I would like to now go on record as having enjoyed The Amazing Spider-Man even more than I enjoyed The Avengers.  Every piece of this movie fit perfectly into the larger puzzle, and I’m very excited for the sequel.  Yes, Marvel finally got their Batman Begins, because just like Nolan’s movie, Webb has made a film so fantastic that you can barely remember the films that came before it.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

            Because I know you’re going to see Brave no matter what I say, I’ll review this week’s other blockbuster release.  There’s nothing like a nice biopic about one of America’s greatest Presidents, and how he waged a secret battle for our nation’s soul.

            On to the review!

            AbrahamLincoln: Vampire Hunter (AL:VH) is not based on a true story, but it would have been pretty cool if it had been.  In fact, the moodiness and over-dramatization of the entire thing would have fit well inside the same universe as True Blood.  Maybe we can pretend they’re the same timeline.

            In AL:VH we follow Lincoln’s life from childhood until just after the Gettysburg Address.  We get to see a vindictive vampire kill his mother, thus setting him on the path to becoming a master vampire slayer.  Of course, movies like these always require awkward starts, so Lincoln (Benjamin Walker) fails epically in his quest for vengeance.  His life is saved only through the intervention of Henry Sturgess (Dominic Cooper), a man who has his own reasons for seeing vampires fall.

            Fortunately, we get the training montage out of the way early in the film so Lincoln can move to a ‘big city’ in Illinois and start his new career in earnest.  This is also where we get to meet a few Firefly alums, as Lincoln meets Mary Todd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) and her fiancé Stephen Douglas (Alan Tudyk).  Of course, despite his master’s repeated urgings to make no friends and stay aloof, Lincoln falls hard for Mary Todd and they eventually wed.

            It is during this second act that we’re introduced to the real bad guys, as apparently vampires have been in the New World for centuries, and the south is basically their playground.  Thanks to slavery enabling them to feed at will, their terrors are mistaken for cruel slave masters.  The cruelest of all is Adam (Rufus Sewell), the most powerful vampire in America, and possibly the world.  Dun-dun-duuuun!

            It’s the third act where things get a bit slow, as they must show Lincoln’s ascension to the Presidency.  At this point the movie has to lay out the reasons for the Civil War, kill off a main character to give Lincoln his final motivation and blah blah blah fight on a train.

            At this point I’d like to say that AL:VH is at its best when it is deliciously, gloriously over-the-top.  A movie about the President being a secret monster slayer should never take itself seriously.  Unfortunately, this one does just that from time to time, especially during the third act.  Fortunately, when the action is unfolding it is a fun, wild ride.  There is a long fight scene between Lincoln and a vampire target that takes place in the middle of a wild horse stampede, and it’s amazing.  Later, the final act’s train sequence goes on forever (in a very good way.)  It’s when the characters stop to speak that the movie tends to drag, making this 105 minute film feel like it was nearly three hours long.

            A set of bonus points for AH:VH is its use of 3D technology.  It has been a long time since I felt I could recommend seeing a film in 3D, but this one actually utilizes it well.  They manage to bring us a film that isn’t dark, murky and bland.  Plus, several of the effects are brilliant. 

            On the down side, I’ve got to say something about matinee 3D movies.  Theaters, if you’re showing a 3D movie and the film does not auto-focus, I don’t care what time of day it is.  Please have someone watching over the projector at the start of the film to make sure the 3D is working properly.  This is the second time in a row that I’ve had to find someone to focus the film, and the second time that the first few minutes of the movie I paid $10 to see ruined.

            I’m also really sick of seeing the trailer for The Great Gatsby in eye-distorting out-of-focus 3D.  Though, even if I could figure out what was going on, I probably would be sick of seeing the trailer for The Great Gatsby.

            All told, AL:VH is better than I thought it would be but not as good as I had hoped for.  The acting is fine and the plot makes about as much sense as you would assume, but the dialog drags.  While the action scenes are fantastic and entertaining, everything that happens between axe swings and thrown punches runs the gamut from boring to painfully boring.

Snow White and the Huntsman

            Here’s the down-and-dirty:  I just got back from playing a 2-day softball tournament 3 hours away.  I haven’t played softball in over a decade, so even though I’m in a great mood (oh yeah, we also won), I’m also sunburnt and tired as <CENSORED>.

            So here’s a placeholder review of Snow White and the Huntsman to tide you over until I get the full one up tomorrow.

            Snow White and the Huntsman attempts to be the gritty reboot that nobody ever wanted.  Although Charlize Theron is quite genuinely Oscar-worthy, and Chris Hemsworth delivers genuine depth to his character, Kirsten Stewart is not Snow White.  Also, while I like the big-name actors playing the dwarves, it’s silly and they’re largely wasted.

            Don’t go see it.  It’s not like Twilight (I suspect they cast Stewart for the role to try and lure that crowd).  It’s also not good or fun, and the only person worth rooting for clearly loses in the end.  Go rent Mirror, Mirror instead.


Addendum:  After a day of rest I came back and reread this post.  You know what?  I like it.  
           It's succinct and tells you everything I have to say about the movie.  It bored me.  I actually fell asleep during the second act.  But it made almost 60 million freaking dollars, so what do I know?  At least I can continue my streak of disagreeing with the majority.
See ya Wednesday!

Bad Ass

            I had every intention of doing my very first Notflix review.*  However, a funny thing happened when I sat down with my friend Joe Cam and his wonderfully understanding wife Ashley.  The film we viewed was way too good to make fun of.  I mean, we did throw in a few humorous quips, but I ended up enjoying the movie so much I decided to give you a full-on review.

            On to the redundant line that’s almost like the previous sentence!

            For those of you not living in a major metropolitan area, it saddens me to inform you that you probably won’t be able to see Danny Trejo in theaters, showing off his acting chops in Bad Ass.  Fortunately they paired their very limited release with a rent-to-watch scheme.  You can download the movie from some entertainment services and cable providers in both regular and HD versions.  No, I don’t want to tell you how much they’re charging.  I prefer the taste of your tears when they’re full of hurt and disappointment.

            Bad Ass is a strange mix of Hobo with a Shotgun (minus the shotgun) and that viral video that came out last year where the old man beat the shit out of a guy on the bus.  Hell, they’re pretty blunt about that second part, seeing as how Mr. Trejo wears the same outfit.

            The plot itself is really simple.  Danny Trejo is Frank Vega, a guy who let life pass him by and never got to do what he wanted, due to an injury he sustained in Vietnam.  Now, in 2010, he’s suddenly recognized and beloved because he beat the snot out of two Hitler Youth that were harassing bus passengers.  This newfound fame and local recognition makes him happier than he’s been in decades.

            Of course, now that things are going well for him, he has to deal with the personal loss of the two people closest to him.  This being mostly an action film, the moment he’s done mourning he decides to take matters into his own hands.  The majority of the film follows Vega as he searches for the killers of his best friend Klondike (Harrison Page) because the cops don’t seem to be doing anything at all.  The plot twist, dun-dun-duuuun, is that Klondike had entrusted a flash drive into Frank’s hands just before he was brutally murdered.

            It’s nice to see a starring vehicle for Danny Trejo that allows him to do more than just scowl and kill people.  As much as I non-ironically enjoy him in movies like Machete, Predators, and Con Air, I think he does have acting ability.  It’s just that most casting calls don’t even bother to look for it.  This time, however, we do get to see a little bit of his softer side -- just before he punches someone down the snack food isle.

            Before you freak out from worry, yes he does have a love interest, and no there is no nudity.  I’m sick of all of you assuming that just because it’s rated R and stars Danny Trejo, there’s gotta be nudity somewhere.  (Ok yes there is nudity, you got me.)

            In other actor news, Ron Perlman is the Mayor and Charles S. Dutton is our poorly named protagonist, Panther.

            Please, do yourself and the film a favor by grabbing it as a rental.  Get enough people over that the rental fee is chump change.  Or get all your friends to promise sexual favors in return for you picking up the tab.  It really is a fun movie.  It has great one-liners, an entertaining plot and a good cast of characters. 

There is some negative, and I’ll at least give you a head’s up.  It’s not original at all, taking plot points from many other movies. It takes its cinematic styles from movies like Crank 2 and The Bourne series, and a lot of the dialog that isn’t a one-liner is pretty dang corny.  Despite all this it’s still incredibly entertaining, which I think reflects even more positively on the actors.

            I also liked it a lot more than Hobo With A Shotgun and, honestly, more than Machete.  So give your money to Danny Trejo.  Before he straight up takes it.

*Remember when I did the Netflix reviews of terrible movies in an Xbox Live party?  Then reviewed the film and wrote down any funny/memorable quotes that were made during the viewing?  Yeah, well, that part of Netflix wasn’t compatible with the new Xbox Live, so it had to be canned.  Now, on the rare occasions that I can leash a live audience to the couch for 2 hours, I’ll put up on Notflix film review.

The Hunger Games

            Let’s just assume for the moment that you’re one of the 15-or-so people who haven’t seen The Hunger Games, read it, or even heard about it in some form or another.  Let’s also assume that you are aware of Battle Royale and constantly compare the two. 

            Please know that I mean this in the nicest way possible:  Shut the fuck up.  You think BR was the first time anyone ever asked ‘why don’t we have teens kill each other for sport?’  Watch both movies and get your head out of your ass.  Or at least do the latter, because the way you waddle around is just embarassing.

On to the review!

            TheHunger Games is a movie based on a book based on an idea that is based on being awesome.  It follows Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) as she’s forced to make horrible decisions and hope for the best outcome.  It also promises a strong female character with actual depth and emotion.  Last year’s Hannah lacked the character depth, and apparently Twilight lacks the character emotion -- or any emotion, judging by the internet’s constant barrage of hatred.

            The movie is based on the undated future, after some sort of apocalypse wiped out a large majority of the world’s population (I’m going to go with worldwide swarms of honey badgers).  North America is now Panem, and it is broken down into the Capitol and 12 (formerly 13) Districts.  Each District is responsible for one type of export, such as electronics, seafood, grains, etc.  Katniss’s District handles coal.  So yes, Jennifer Lawrence is already typecast as a woman who can only grow up in West Virginia.

            Due to a civil war several decades ago, one boy and one girl aged 12-18 from each District gets selected to go to the Capital and fight to the death for everyone’s amusement and to remind the Districts to behave themselves.  This year, Katniss’s sister, who has quite literally a 1-in-10000 chance of getting selected, is chosen as the female tribute.  This unfortunate turn of events forces Katniss to become District 12’s first ever volunteer.  It also causes her to get into a shitload of ‘holy shit I’m gonna die.’

            Now, the best news is that you do not have to have read the books to understand and enjoy the movie.  The bad news is that you have to not be a total douchebox to enjoy the movie.  I genuinely understand that not every film is for every person.  I don’t like most romance films, because I find the circumstances and the character mentalities to be strange.  It’s as if the men in romance movies have never farted in public.  I don’t understand this, but it’s cool if other people like it. 

            It’s totally cool if other people don’t like a teen action movie based in a future dystopia.  What’s not cool is if you don’t like it and then nitpick the dumbest details you can find.  One review in particular caught my attention.  The critic wrote about the fact that there were just too many unanswered questions about how the future world came to be.  That’s cool; I can totally understand how an inquisitive mind could be driven nuts by the fact that you just have to accept the world as it is.  No problem.

            He then went on to write an entire paragraph about the clothing, expressly complaining about how nobody wore jeans.

            Are you serious?  Just shut the hell up.  When you predicate your dislike of a movie over their lack of denim, you are just an asshole?  This is why I wrote about critics dying out.  It’s because of shit like this that nobody takes you seriously!

            Anyhow, back to the movie.  The Hunger Games has also perfectly cast everyone in their roles, from the always-awesome Stanley Tucci as Caesar, Elizabeth Banks as our ‘fashionable’ Effie, and Donald Sutherland as President Snow.  The only odd casting choice for me was Woody Harrelson as Haymitch, but that’s because I always imagined him as bigger and more ravaged by alcohol.

            The movie itself is a bit long, but it needs to be.  It does a fantastic job of fitting in most every plot point from the book.  The only downside is the pacing.  Due to the nature of the story, all the action is crammed into the second half.  The first hour of the movie is a lot of talking and pacing, building and tying together everything needed to make the Hunger Games work. 

            My major complaint with the movie is the camera.  The action scenes are all over the place, and it’s often hard to follow what’s going on.  I have a feeling this is really going to tick off those that didn’t read the books and who aren’t sure who just did what to whom. 

            Other than that, the special effects could have used work in a few places, but it’s pretty acceptable considering how much CGI had to go into this movie.

            The acting is superb and the movie follows the plot of the book so well that I doubt any fans with any sense in their heads will complain.  There are a few new scenes thrown in to help piece things together, but they all work well together.  All-in-all, it’s a good time.

            In other words, do yourself a favor and check out The Hunger Games.  It’s definitely the first big release of 2012, and it’s the best movie you’re going to see for the next month or three.