Equilibrium

            HOW HAVE I NOT YET TOLD THE WORLD HOW MUCH I LOVE EQUILIBRIUM???

            On to the review!

            In 2002 we were introduced to a movie that fulfilled every red-blooded male’s (non-nude) fantasy.  Finally, a film that combined martial arts, gunplay, a dystopian future and a thinly-veiled nod to Fahrenheit 451.  Cleaner and more linear than 1999’s The Boondock Saints, Equilibrium delivered the concept of gun-kata: a mathematically sound martial art used to maximize one’s firing ability.  It also introduced audiences to Christian Bale as an action hero rather than just that crazy guy from American Psycho.

            In the future world that Equilibrium represents, feelings are illegal.  Everyone is on a mandatory dosage of Prozium (because Prozac is under copyright).  To guarantee that nobody ‘accidently’ has feelings, all works of art have also been banned.  Anyone found to be harboring books, artwork, music, etc. is guaranteed the death sentence.  Anyone who does not take their Prozium is labeled a Sense Offender and is guaranteed the death sentence.  Anyone who acts suspiciously is probably guaranteed a death sentence.  Your face is definitely guaranteed the death sentence.

            Christian Bale is John Preston, one of the highest ranking ‘Clerics’ of Libria, one of an unknown number of surviving cities.  Hell, Libria may be the last surviving ‘utopia’ of mankind.  Who knows?  Who cares?  Explosions!

            Anyways, Preston’s job as a Cleric is to hunt down and terminate Sense Offenders as well as burn any banned media, even if it is the original Mona Lisa.  Of course, all is not well as he soon discovers that his partner Partridge (Sean Bean) went off his Prozium quite some time ago.  Guess what?  (SPOILER) Sean Bean dies in this film.  This fits well into my theory that if Sean Bean dies the movie is good. 

            No time for mourning  (since emotions are illegal and all) so Preston gets a new partner right quick.  His new partner, Brandt (Taye Diggs), is a far less pleasant person; willing to do anything in his power to rise up the Clerical ranks as quickly as possible.  As Preston begins to question his role in the world, Brandt may have a very real opportunity to move up very far, very quickly.

            Equilibrium does have a bit of romance shoehorned in, and it’s to the acting credit of Bale and Emily Watson (as Mary O’Brien) that it isn’t laughable.  The rest of the film is dedicated to violence.  Both the gunplay and hand-to-hand combat are smooth, brutal and efficient.  For the most part Equilibrium wants to spend as much time as possible showing off its shiny toys.

            In all reality, Equilibrium tanked at the box office, taking in less than 10% of its estimated budget from the U.S. release.  It recouped a bit more worldwide but I’m honestly not sure if it broke even.

            I don’t care about that.  It is most certainly a cult classic today.  I loved the movie the first time I saw it as a 22 year old, and I loved it when I watched it on Sunday as a 31 year old.  Sometimes you just want to watch one guy shoot 20 men.

Then kick them.

The Dark Knight Rises

            Please note:  I do not in any way want to downplay what happened in Colorado on Friday.  It was a terrible tragedy, and if you are eligible to donate blood, I ask that you try to do so.  However, my opinions of it are irrelevant.  The politics of the situation do not belong here.  This page reviews movies, and that's what you'll get.  Go somewhere else if you want to spout off an opinion about the horrid event that took place three days ago.

           

            Now, I spent an hour in a packed movie theater until the clock hit 0010 on Friday, surrounded by gossiping teenage girls, one of who was gesticulating so wildly that she almost hit me in the face.  Twice.  I didn't get home until 0315.  Because I'm an old man by 5th Century standards, my sleep schedule is still screwed up.

            Totally worth it.

            On to the review!

            In an effort to protect any readers who have not yet seen The Dark Knight Rises, I am going to present to you a perfectly spoiler-free review.

            First off, I was incredibly surprised at Nolan's temerity.  I still can't believe that he had Alfred (Michael Caine) die due to a series of unfortunate events, then have Batman/Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) blame himself and go into seclusion.  But it worked out.  Having Anne Hathaway's Selina/Catgirl become a well-meaning but misguided hero, who stopped petty robberies and protected the poor and innocent but still robbed from the rich, worked out well.  That is, it worked out well until Bane (Tom Hardy) showed up and began to unleash his master plan of turning all of Gotham into a water park.

            (Yes, every single thing there was a lie.  Calm down.)

            Since I can't really talk about the plot without giving something away, I would like to focus on The Dark Knight Rises' acting.  In short, it was phenomenal.  Christian Bale delivered a far more damaged and nuanced Bruce Wayne than we had ever seen.  Anne Hathaway's Selina Kyle was actually layered.  She brought so much humanity to the role that I was able to completely forget about Michelle Pfeiffer's one-dimensional take, as well as Halle Berry's complete fuck-up.  Additional newcomer Joseph Gordon-Levitt is absolutely amazing as Blake, a young, hot-headed cop who still believes in Batman. 

            Unsurprisingly, Hollywood heavyweights Morgan Freeman, Michael Caine and Gary Oldman all reprise their roles to perfection.  In fact, the only complaint I've heard from anyone so far is Tom Hardy's Bane.  I never read the comics, but from all the images I've seen of DC's Bane, I'm really, really, really, really, really glad we weren't given a hairy Mucha Lucha to stare at for two and a half hours.  Remember, Christopher Nolan's Batman universe is supposed to be plausible, if not possible.  A chemically-altered psychopath who stands 6'42" and has hair on his eyeballs doesn't really fit in.  However, a guy who wears a breathing apparatus because his face was fucked up in a fight could actually make sense.
            Oh yeah, I almost forgot.  Marion Cotillard plays Miranda Tate, Wayne's new love interest.  While she's my least favorite, least-fleshed-out character in this movie, she still does better than a single person in The Fantastic Four.  Boosh.

            As far as the universe goes, Nolan does a great job of keeping everything that worked from the last two films, and building on it to make Gotham an even more complete city.   I don't believe I exaggerate when I say Gotham is as integral a part of Batman's story as the characters.  This Gotham, though nearly crime-free now, is still bleak at times; decades of horror and criminal control does not so easily wash off the streets.

            What I am trying to say is, The Dark Knight Rises is a perfect end to a perfect superhero trilogy.  It's a complete film that exceeded my expectations.  It's far more nuanced than The Avengers and a better superhero drama than The Amazing Spider-Man.  I'm glad it's the last superhero film of the year, because we're going to be holding this up as the industry's new gold standard for a very, very long time.