Pain and Gain

            I'm incredibly conflicted.  On the one hand, Michael Bay is definitely a talented filmmaker.  On the other hand, I hate most of his catalog.  One might say that it is a pain to admit but I've managed to gain respect for the man.

            Ugh, that was terrible.

            On to the review!

            Pain and Gain is Michael Bay's attempt at a 'small' movie.  It only cost $25 million to make, or as I like to refer to it, one Optimus Prime.  Usually his films cost at least four Optimus Primes and end up being...well, see for yourself.  While a large majority of the movies he has ever had a hand in, either as director or producer, has made money, almost all of them were viewed as kinda shitty.  Don't even get me started on the movies that were the trifecta of expensive, terrible, and flops.

            But what does all this have to do with Pain and Gain?  Well, I just wanted you to see it compared to its peers.  It's a tiny, cheaply done movie.  There is only one, read it one explosion during its entire 2 hour, 9 minute run time.  It actually focuses on characters instead of fireballs.  In other words, it's different.  If I have to compare it to any other Bay film in existence, I would liken it to The Rock because of its star-studded cast and absolutely ridiculous plot.

            This time the plot is taken from the true story of Daniel Lugo (played here by Mark Wahlberg), an ex-con personal trainer who just wants to make something of himself.  He wants the American dream but all he can seem to do just get by.  So he takes it upon himself to become a 'doer' and hatches a plan to become a millionaire overnight.  Unfortunately for everyone involved, rather than find a way to become a self-made man he decides to steal the fortune of an actual self-made man, Victor Kershaw (Tony Shalhoub).

            Knowing he can't do this alone, Lugo ropes in two of his coworkers, Paul Doyle (Dwayne Johnson) and Adrian Doorbal (Anthony Mackie).  After a few false starts, they succeed in kidnapping Victor and all they have to do now is get him to sign away his entire fortune.  Easy, right?  Well, if it were easy, it wouldn't be a Michael Bay movie now would it?

            What's interesting is that this is all based on a true story.  There are even a few moments where the film stops to remind you that this shit really totally happened.  Yet there are moments where it almost begs for suspension of disbelief.  I personally couldn't believe that anyone could be such a terrible criminal mastermind.  I may never know just what parts of the movie were really real and which parts were added for entertainment purposes, but if even one tenth of what I saw actually happened, then poor Daniel Lugo wins the award for worst criminal in the history of Florida.

            Anyways, back to the actual film.  The best part of Pain and Gain is the acting.  Every single person in this film seems to have been cast just right, there are not too many characters, and not only are they all good in their roles, it's obvious that they're having a total blast.  Dwayne Johnson was especially fantastic in his role as a reformed coke-head who found Jesus and went straight.  Seeing him wrestle verbally and morally with the rest of his crew were some of the highlights of the film. 

            A few of the other cast members include Ed Harris, Rob Cordry, Ken Jeong, Rebel Wilson and Bary Paly, who were all great. Rebel Wilson steals the show at times with some great lines to add some dry humor to a movie that refuses to be taken seriously.

            So what are my problems with Pain and Gain?  Well, it's too damn long, for starters.  As usual, Mr. Bay just does not know how to edit a movie into a tight little package.  There are way too many voiceovers.  Damn near every single character gets to narrate their own back-story.  Then more characters get additional narration time to explain scenes or thoughts or deeds.  While a few times is fine (I actually appreciated it as a way to introduce our main characters)  it was used roughly a dozen times, and that's just too damn much.

            If you get motion sick, you may very well have a problem with the opening scene and a few other points of the film.  As usual, Bay shows his technical prowess with a few totally amazing shots, but holy shit are some of them like watching a guy ride a bronco.

            Complaints aside, Pain and Gain has joined The Rock as the only other Michael Bay film that I actually, truly, genuinely enjoy.  Bay did a smart move by hiring talented, competent actors with not a single LeBeouf in sight.  Do I want to watch it again?  Yes, I think I'd like to check out the Blu-Ray when it comes out, which is more than I can say for any Transformers film, or The Island or Pearl Harbor or Armageddon...well, you get the idea.

The Thaw, or How A Movie Made Before Birdemic Feels Just Like Birdemic

            It's very rare that I watch a movie recommended to me and am reminded of a different film recommended to me.  The second film was recommended just for Mainstreamin' because of how utterly terrible it was: Birdemic: Shock and Terror.  If you've seen it, you know it was created out of love and a terrible, amazing inability to craft a film.  The one I just finished was recommended by a fellow horror lover, and interestingly enough it came out before Birdemic.  That film is The Thaw.

            On to the review!

            Both films act as thinly veiled commentary on how poorly we treat Mother Earth.  While Birdemic was content with shoving it down our throats through poor acting, a terrible script and absolutely no special effects, The Thaw does it through half-decent acting, a terrible script and some of the grossest scenes I've ever witnessed.  And remember, I once watched a film where a naked woman ate her own feces with a spoon.

            The Thaw takes us to a remote island in the far, far north, in the fabled land of Canada.  Because of global warming, a research team makes an incredible discovery in a melting iceberg: a nearly perfectly preserved wooly mammoth.  Unfortunately, within that mammoth is a terrible creature that will happily destroy life on earth as we know it and was only stopped the first time by the Ice Age.

            Lending a little bit of respectability to the film is Val Kilmer as the lead researcher (Dr. Kruipen), a well-respected scientist and an outspoken critic of mankind's march towards devastation.  He wants nothing more than to take everyone by the shoulders, shake them, and show them just what they're doing to fuck up our entire ecology.

            Aside from his largely forgettable research team, he is belatedly joined by four student researchers who were chosen to study alongside Dr. Kruipen long before he made his horrific discovery.  Since this is a remote area and poor communication is to be expected, they land at the main camp while the Dr.'s team is still studying the mammoth.

            Oh, and his daughter Evelyn (Martha MacIsaac) is one of the four students.  So that sucks.  For her.

            The plot unfolds as the evil creatures are unleashed on the unsuspecting students from a polar bear carcass that had been dragged to the main camp.  And by 'unfolds' I mean horrible, horrific scenes that will make your skin crawl and leave you needing a shower.

            Like I said before, The Thaw is all about convincing you of the dangers of mankind's selfishness.  Global warming is one problem, yes, but just like Birdemic, it suggests that eventually Mother Nature will openly oppose us via her menagerie of critters.

            Is it as heavy-handed?  No, of course not.  Nothing else ever made in the history of anything will ever be as ham-fisted as Birdemic.  Or as terrible (I sincerely hope).  But the plot isn't much better and the acting is on par with any direct-to-DVD horror film.  What it does have going for it is an absolutely gorgeous location with a genuinely claustrophobic feel to it, which is impressive considering that they're in the middle of thousands of acres of untouched wilderness.  Also, there's the gore.  Lots of creepy scenes and a few breathtakingly violent ones will wrench you out of your happy place and show you just what a few scared, desperate souls are capable of when confronted with something beyond their control.

            If you're a horror fan who enjoyed watching Bug or Slither, you're going to get similar levels of creepiness and violence.  What you're not going to get is a very good story, but at least you'll be better informed on global warming?

Oblivion

            There's a special place in Hell for people who talk loudly throughout a movie.  The man behind me in the theater yesterday will find out firsthand just how hard it is to talk when your mouth is filled with razor blades and Satan's little helpers are stabbing you in the ass with needles.  I even asked him to be quiet, twice, but I think he was partially deaf.

            On to the review!

            This weekend's movie was Oblivion, a new Tom Cruise action vehicle.  Also, it was a hot mess.  It felt like a half dozen of his previous films all rolled into one in an attempt to make a Steven Spielberg-style thinking man's Sci-Fi film.  It made me want to play a bunch of video games like Portal 2, Deus Ex and Fallout.  What it did not do was impress me with its own story.

            The plot is pretty simple, but I can't go into much detail because the entire thing hinges on two twists.  The first one you already know if you've seen a single trailer for the film.  The second one is so terribly masked that my friend and I both figured it out 5 minutes into its 125 minute run time.

            So what I can tell you is this:  Tom Cruise is Jack, a guy who spends all day running maintenance on a bunch of security drones that protect giant machines.  These machines turn seawater into fusion energy.  His partner Victoria (Andrea Riseborough) monitors him from their house in the clouds and stays in contact with their superiors in space.

            The problem is, Jack is a curious sort of guy while Victoria just wants to do the job and take the next train to Titan and be with the rest of humanity.  Of course, curiosity killed the cat, so shit happens.  Also, Morgan Freeman is there.

            My problem with Oblivion isn't that it's a bad movie.  It is actually an entertaining movie.  My problem is that it's so damn lazy.  Every single plot point is predictable, and just in case you're a blithering idiot, someone on screen will quite literally lay it out for you verbally.  There is a ton of pointless dialog, and the movie is about 45 minutes longer than it has any right to be.

            However it is a freaking gorgeous waste of time.  The special effects are fantastic and all the shiny toys and gadgets are fantastically rendered.  I especially liked how awesome the security drones looked, even if they did seem to be a minor Portal rip-off.

            The long and short of it is, if Tom Cruise thought he was kicking off the summer Blockbuster season this weekend, he was wrong.  What he did do was prove to you that he can totally act, he just doesn't give a shit.

Scary Movie 5 Part 2: The Rant

No new movie today.  I'm still pissed off about Scary Movie 5.

            On to the rant!

            The good news is that Scary Movie 5 had a terrible opening weekend.  It only made $15.2 million as opposed to 42's $27.3 million.  So, yay!

            The bad news is that enough people saw this film willingly that it made millions of dollars.  I understand that there is some extreme pressure to compete in Hollywood.  More so than anywhere outside of politics, I would wager.  But what is wrong with the system that someone could reasonably expect to use a film like this on a resume?  I like to imagine that the writers did something similar to what occurred in the "Cartoon Wars" episodes of South Park; except instead of manatees, they all ate random words written on paper, shit on the table and used that to build the script.

            I'll admit, despite such literal shit coming to theaters once in awhile, we are in an absolute Golden Age of cinema.  Don't let anyone tell you different.  With filming methods becoming cheaper and easier to obtain, there are so many ways to create movies that it feels like everyone is getting into it.  Indie films are becoming just as accepted by viewers as multi-million-dollar blockbusters.

            So if a movie can be made on the cheap and become critically acclaimed plus make a pile of money, shouldn't it be even more difficult to greenlight a studio film?  Shouldn't someone have looked at the Scary Movie franchise, noticed that A Haunted House was coming out beforehand as was basically a Scary Movie film anyways, then nixed Scary Movie 5?  Then maybe murdered whoever brought up the idea?

            Don't get me wrong.  I am not nearly as educated a student of cinema as many of my friends or basically anyone who actually makes a living out of watching film.  I know that there have always been shitty movies.  But it feels like they were fewer and farther between, just as often the product of an overconfident director or a loss of control from the studio as it was an ipso facto terrible film.

            Plus, we have always had 'bad' cinema due to time and money constraints.  Roger Corman made a living out of pumping out film after film for small audiences that just wanted to have a good time.  Plan 9 From Outer Space, anyone?

            But it feels like Scary Movie 5 and recent films like Jack and Jill are not only terrible, but that they do not even have an audience to appeal to.

            Especially with all the options available to us nowadays!  Why spend $10-15 for a ticket to a movie that everyone who has seen it finds it abhorrent when you can boot up Netflix or Hulu or Amazon Prime and watch known good cinema?  I understand the idea that people want to take a risk or are just immensely hopeful/curious (see: half the movies I watch), but Hollywood is not going to stop shitting on that table until we as moviegoers stop handing them money for the next crapfest.

            If someone really, really felt that the next Scary Movie film had to be made, then fine.  Give them a few digital cameras and just enough money to pay the cast.  Then force them to actually make a good movie.  Airplane did it.  Not Another Teen Movie did it.  Spoofs can be spot-on, relevant and fucking hilarious.  But when you're just ripping off other, better movies in an attempt to cash in on trends, you're not making a movie.  You're making a shitty series of scenes that would do just as well on a YouTube channel.

            Stop it.  Just stop it, Hollywood.  Your head is so far up your ass at this point that you think it's totally fine to go balls-deep in ours.  That's not cool.  Keep giving me the blockbusters, keep giving me the thoughtful films, the experimental ones, the weird ones.  I understand that a flop is inevitable, but at least put some goddamn heart into it.  I'll forgive a flop with good intentions (John Carter) but I won't forgive any more shameless cash-ins (Grown-Ups).  You can just sit there with your head up your ass, making muffled noises about how to spoof the next big hit.  I can't stop you, but I refuse to listen.

Scary Movie 5

            I usually try not to sound like a dick or like I think I'm better than other people, but this next sentence will come off that way because it should.  If you like the Scary Movie franchise in its current state, I will never be your friend.

            If you find humor in poorly executed and dated references, terribly executed slapstick humor, or actually want to spend money on a movie that everyone with half a brain agrees is possibly the worst film of 2013, then you, sir/madam, are a horrible person who probably puts ketchup on $50 steaks.

            On to the review!

            The fans voted (all 5 of them!) and I bought a ticket for Scary Movie 5 instead of 42.  I actually blushed from embarrassment when I bought the ticket.  More embarrassing still were the 40 other people in the theater who actually decided that this was how they wanted to spend their Friday night.

            Opening with Lindsay Lohan visiting Charlie Sheen's house for nookie, the movie started low and made no attempt to go up from there.  Note: I was 19 when the first Scary Movie came out.  I actually enjoyed it because it seemed to care at least a little bit about what it was spoofing.  Also probably because I was 19.  Now it seems that those who carry on the banner of spoof movies don't even give a shit.  This latest piece of filth does nothing but try to cash in on films the writers assume people saw.

            In a perfect world, every movie referenced in Scary Movie 5 would sue the franchise for slander.  Then everyone in the world gets to punch all those involved in making Scary Movie 5.  In the face.

            The overall plot kicks off once Mr. Sheen is mysteriously murdered and his 3 children disappear.  They are found in a cabin in the woods (home to many of the worst jokes in the film) by Snoop Lion and Mac Miller (I think?) after they steal a bunch of weed from farmers in Humboldt County.

            The kids are then returned to Charlie Sheen's brother Dan (Simon Rex) and his girlfriend Jody (Ashley Tisdale) in a supposed homage to Mama.  Of course, being a shitty movie and all, the rest of the plot is filled in with ideas from Rise of the Planet of the Apes (Dan's job is that of James Franco in a film that didn't suck 50 feet of flaccid cocks), Paranormal Activity, and Swan Lake.  Yes you read that right.  While catering to the lowest common denominator, they settled on one of the more challenging films of the 21st Century as one of their primary plot devices.

            Thrown in there are dated references to Inception, Sinister, Honey Boo-Boo, Benny Hill, the new Evil Dead, 50 Shades of Grey and a whole lot of other detritus that I've fortunately already forgotten about.  And that sentence is why I was ashamed to be in the theater.  I can understand throwing in a non-horror reference to a horror spoof, especially when you're trying to lighten the mood.  What I cannot understand is why anyone would  ham-handedly force in so many unrelated films just for the sake of making every scene recognizable to the audience and somehow thinking it's humor.

            No, seriously, that's not funny.  Unsurprisingly, Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg had a hand in producing this.  To be fair, the only other one of their films that I had the displeasure of viewing was Date Movie because my little brother inexplicably purchased it.  I also hated the shit out of that one and now feel confident in saying that they are horrible people. I honestly believe things like Scary Movie 5 are why other countries hate America.

            Just like Date Movie, Scary Movie 5 vaguely amused me twice.  The first time was when they did a relatively humorous, gentle mocking of Darren Aronofsky's filming method.  The second was one of the aforementioned Benny Hill-style scenes that took a crack at how one person in a relationship always hogs the bed.  For $11.00, two points of amusement in a fucking comedy is absolutely horrible.

            So if you like laughing at movies because you're really, really stupid then by all means go check out Scary Movie 5!  If my bill submitted to Congress is accepted, everyone who doesn't blush in shame while purchasing tickets will be sterilized at the door.

John Dies at the End

            Before I go into this particular review, let it be known that, yes, I am a fanboy.  I have enjoyed David Wong's comedic and often insightful writings at Cracked.com for years, and when I finally read John Dies at the End as well as This Book is Full of Spiders last year, I immediately pushed them way up my chart of best books I've ever devoured (figuratively).  So to say that I really, really, really wanted to like the film adaptation of his first novel is an understatement.

            Add in the fact that it was directed by Don Coscarelli, the man who brought us Bubba Ho-Tep, Beastmaster and Phantasm, and you get a potential joygasm 7 miles long.

            On to the review!

            Long story short, I loved it.  Of course, the film had to make several edits from the book in order to make it a sleek 99 minutes, but there is absolutely no down time.  This film comes as close to the sheer insanity of the novel as is possible.

            John Dies at the End is a story about drugs, alternate dimensions, and all-around strangeness.  It stars Chase Williamson as Dave, a simple guy who never really wanted much out of life other than normalcy and his dealings with everything but. 

            Our film starts out with Dave trying to get his story out via a reporter named Arnie (Paul Giamatti).  He knows the story he has to tell is utterly insane, so he does his best to convince Arnie with several examples of the strangeness around them. 

            This strangeness is all linked directly to a drug with unknown origins called Soy Sauce.  It all kicks off when Dave's best friend John (Rob Mayes) goes to an after-party and ends up taking a hit of Soy Sauce.  Also, at this party the drug dealer explodes, but things like that just happen in John Dies at the End.

            It turns out that John is the only person who doesn't go missing from the aforementioned after-party, so he and Dave are taken in by local cops for questioning.  Then things get really, really out of hand.

            I have to give it to Mr. Coscarelli for keeping the insanity flowing, especially when the book relies so heavily on Dave's constant commentary.  Yes, there is a lot of voice-over work in this film, and I think it's almost necessary in order to help those unfamiliar with the book keep up.

            The rest of the plot involves such strange creatures as a meat monster, tiny flies with a hive-mind, strangers from other dimensions, phantom limbs and a psychic dog.

            Yeah, it's that kind of movie.

            While John Dies at the End does have its flaws--they took my favorite character from the book and combined a second character with her, many of my favorite parts had to be edited for time, Dr. Marconi (Clancy Brown) was heavily edited, the ending is a bit more messy than I would have preferred--it is still a fantastically entertaining merry-go-round of chaos.

            Plus, while it is a bit violent and gory at times, this is more of a strange adventure than it is a horror film.  It's something like Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure meets a Stephen King novel.

Evil Dead

            What kind of idiot family brings a toddler to an R-Rated horror movie?  I mean, do we really need to do that to any kid?  I don't care how well-behaved the child is.  That isn't the issue.  The issue is that there is some serious potential to give that kid the kind of scares that could stay with them for years.  And I'm not just talking out my ass on this one.

            Through no fault of my parents', I was introduced to some of the best horror movies ever made when I was a bit too young to appreciate them.  Already being a scaredy-cat to begin with, I ended up avoiding horror movies for a large chunk of my childhood because of the nightmares they would induce.  Hell, I still remember an incident in 4th grade when the girls got caught playing Bloody Mary in the bathroom.  We ended up having a 60 minute discussion in class about all the sorts of horror stories everyone in the classroom knew about.  After that, I didn't talk for three days.

            It wasn't until I was an 'adult' (I have to use that term loosely, because I don't think I'm an adult yet in any sense other than the one society defines) that I overcame my fears and ended up becoming a horror addict.

            I don't wish anything ill upon the kid in that movie theater yesterday, but I do hope that if the poor guy has nightmares, that he wakes up his parents in the middle of their REM sleep.  Repeatedly.

            On to the review!

            I have been a fan of the Evil Dead films for well over a decade.  Evil Dead II was one of the first horror movies I watched in my late teens, and it was just amazing.  A perfect blend of horror, comedy, and action.  I then went on to see Army of Darkness and the original Evil Dead.  The theory I have always had was that the first Evil Dead was the movie director Sam Raimi could make on his limited budget.  Evil Dead II was the movie he wanted to make and so it was a partial remake/reimagining/pseudo-sequel to the first.  If that's so, then the new Evil Dead is also a remake of the original, but instead of being a horror/action/comedy, it's a straight-up brutal blood-soaked horror.

            Everyone got that?  Good.

            The new Evil Dead goes the smart route from the beginning and casts absolutely no super-famous people.  We don't want to be distracted by movie stars when there's murdering to be done.

            In this version, friends and family members have gathered at a remote cabin in the woods to try and help Mia (Jane Levy) go cold turkey from her debilitating drug addiction.  Her brother David (Shiloh Fernandez) swears up and down that he's there for her, but he also hasn't been around for several years, instead burying himself at work while his sister dealt with their mother's mental illness and subsequent death.

            Lots of sunshine and flowers right from the get-go.

            Three friends, Eric (Lou Taylor Pucci), Olivia (Jessica Lucas) and Natalie (Elizabeth Blackmore) round out the rest of the cast.  For everyone familiar with the Evil Dead films, it's not a question as to which of them will die, but a question of in what order will they bite the dust.  If you think that last sentence was a spoiler, then you obviously have no idea what a good horror film is.

            Things are going pretty well throughout the first day, with Mia having some rough but controllable withdrawal.  Unfortunately, shit goes down when they discover that the cabin's basement had been the source of some sort of witchcraft and is now filled with dead, rotting animal carcasses.  Amidst those carcasses is *gasp* a book!  Wrapped in a trash bag and surrounded by barbed wire, one would think that the book should just be ignored. 

            Of course, Eric can't help himself, so once he is alone with the book, he gets it open and starts to read passages out loud, despite the warnings scribbled all over the pages.

            Once read aloud, those passages unleash an ancient evil that immediately sets out to devour the souls of all 5 cabin dwellers.  Of course.

            What follows is simple: horrific brutality.  Nothing is spared in bringing terror to life as the demonic entity sows violence and chaos within the cabin as it toys with, tortures and murders its inhabitants.

            While I usually frown on remakes, especially horror remakes, when I heard that the new Evil Dead was being produced by both Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell I got a little bit excited.  When they both spoke highly of the new film, I had a hard time not getting my hopes up.  Once I actually saw the new vision of the Evil Dead, all my fears were allayed.

            This remake is absolutely worth your time if you are an Evil Dead fan.  Yes, it eschews much of the subtle and not-so-subtle comedy that the series became known for in the sequels, but it brings all the claustrophic horror of being trapped in a cabin with the unknown to the fore. 

            Just don't bring your toddler, ok?

Pssst!  Stay for the credits.

Two For One Special: Zero Dark Thirty/Shame

            I now live near a Fry's Electronics.  But it's ok, I don't like having money anyways.

            On to the review(s)!

            I've been doing some catching up on good movies and I wanted to share two of them with you.  On Monday, I watched my newly-owned BluRay of Zero Dark Thirty and yesterday I had time to view my Netflix copy of Shame.  Two completely different films that are similar in that they both unfold with painstakingly slow efficiency.

            Zero Dark Thirty is about the hunt for Osama Bin Laden, but it is much more than that.  By taking the route of following one CIA agent, Maya (Jessica Chastain) from 2001 until the raid on Bin Laden's compound in 2012, it charts a very difficult and oftentimes uncomfortable course.  This movie is not just about how we found America's most wanted terrorist, it also highlights how we have changed and adapted to danger over the last decade.

            Throughout the film, Maya is forced to come to terms with the very harsh tactics that America was willing to use to get confessions and information from known and suspected terrorists.  In fact, much of the beginning of the film highlights our torture techniques to the point that if you aren't squirming uncomfortably in your seats, you're probably former CIA Black Ops.       We follow Maya from one lead to another, one country to another, always with world events occurring in the background.  Occasionally those world events happen in the foreground, surprising both the characters and the audience with their devastation and ferocity. 

            Of course, we all know how the film ends.  But the last 30 minutes, in which we actually witness a fictionalized account of the raid on Bin Laden's compound, is so amazingly captivating that I found myself unwilling to blink for long stretches of time.

            Director Kathryn Bigelow is now my favorite go-to director for honest, gritty, realistic takes on the trials and tribulations of war.

            Shame, meanwhile, is all about Brandon (Michael Fassbender).  Although for some damn reason I kept hearing it as Random and I thought that would be a pretty cool name.  Brandon is a sex addict.  We know this, because the entire film is basically dedicated to reminding the audience of this fact whenever possible.  His days are perfectly routine, and his every action seems predicated on the knowledge that he will be able to free up enough time to masturbate, have sex, or pay for a hooker.

            His routine is interrupted, however, when his little sister Sissy (Carey Mulligan) shows up and begs to crash on his couch.  Now that he no longer has the freedom to do what he wants, when he wants, he starts to lose control.

            Where Zero Dark Thirty was a slow film that eventually built up to a tense, fantastic last 30-or-so minutes, Shame is a slow film that eventually builds up to a climactic final 3 minutes.  And by climactic, I mean that something happens that doesn't take 15 minutes of slow, lingering camera-work to digest. 

            Shame is not a bad movie at all, but it is a patience-tester.  If you want your plot spoon fed to you, or if you don't like movies where you actually have to pay attention to the characters to see their emotions rather than have them tell you what they're thinking, you're going to have a bad time with this one.

            Also, it's NC-17 due to gratuitous early shots of Lil' Fassbender and lots of interspersed female nudity.  The entire film is about a sex addict, after all.

            At least I can now say that I've seen Michael Fassbender urinate, so there's something.