Ted

            It’s obvious that Seth MacFarlane loves pop culture.  If you have seen a single episode of Family Guy, American Dad or The Cleveland Show, then you know that he can’t go more than a few minutes without referencing popular culture.  Be it a relic of the past or something that happened last week, he will often find the thinnest excuse to break away from the plot and make his wisecrack.  The big question is: how does that translate to the big screen?

            Pretty well, actually.

On to the review!

            I’m not the first to say this and I won’t be the last-- Ted is exactly what That’s My Boy failed in every way to be.  They both have failed child stars who grow up to be wastes of life, they’re both foul-mouthed, and they’re both, forgive the term, Bromantic Comedies.  Yes there is a love interest, but it’s secondary to the relationship between the two male protagonists.

            What Ted does right, however, is that it manages to weave an entertaining plot around all the jokes and shenanigans.  If romantic comedies were this willing to let actual adults talk like actual adults, I would probably watch more of them.  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this movie is dirty.  It swears all the fucking time, and there are many unnecessary gay/dick/rape/violence jokes you’ll think you walked into a medium security prison.  The thing is, none of them are done to shock the audience.  Every quip occurs through natural conversation.  None of it is forced.  In fact, it feels as if you simply happen to be following around two clever, foulmouthed friends.

            Ted begins with an introduction that almost overstays its welcome.  We witness meet a friendless young John Bennett as he struggles to make friends.  Then, one fateful Christmas Day, he receives a teddy bear and cleverly names it Teddy.  That night he wishes that Teddy were real and his wish comes true, bringing Teddy to life. 

At this point most movies would simply take us to the present.  So I will give Ted credit for not stopping there.  It instead goes on to show Teddy on the cover of magazines and a clip from his appearance on the Jonny Carson Show.  It takes pains to show Ted as a popular ‘child’ star who charms the world for a few years before being forgotten for the next big thing.

The entire intro has hilarious voiceover narration done by none other than Patrick.  I like to hope he really enjoyed his role, because he gets to go on tangents about Apache helicopters and shitty child stars.

            NOW we cut to several years later, and 35 year old John (Mark Wahlburgh) holds down a shitty job at a rental center and lives with Ted (voiced by Seth MacFarlane).  While he is dating beautiful Lori Collins (Mila Kunis), he hasn’t grown up enough to consider settling down.  At this point the film does a good job of immersing you in his bum-around life, introducing you to both John’s and Lori’s coworkers, but in a way that lets the story develop around them without the whole “oh hey let’s cram all these character introductions into your eyeholes so we can get on to the next part.” Ted’s secondary characters are played by such notable comedians as Patrick Warburton, who may or may not be part of an underground gay fight club, boss Matt Walsh, who is totally friends with Tom Skerritt, and Joel McHale as Rex, Lori’s rich douche of a boss who won’t take no for an answer.

            Once we’ve gotten through the introductions, we are reintroduced to the fact that John and Lori’s relationship cannot take the next step until Ted and John move apart.  Ted moves a few blocks away and gets a job as a cashier at a local food mart, despite his attempt to bomb the interview.  Here we learn that even though they’re now blocks away from each other, John is still too addicted to fun, and he consistently and hilariously fails to put Lori’s needs above Ted’s wants.  This also includes a coke-fueled party with his hero, Flash Gordon (Sam Jones).

            What I like the most about Ted is its ability to juggle two primary plots and seamlessly weave them throughout the film.  While Lori and John are having their problems, Ted is being stalked by Donny (Giovanni Ribisi) who suffers from a case of the stalkers and wants Ted to be his son’s plaything.

            Yes, Ted does delve into some seriously crude humor.  The thing is, MacFarlane tops Sandler by giving you all kinds of humor.  Hell, this man was able to seamlessly integrate a shot-for-shot remake of the bar scene in Airplane.  Unlike Sandler, it’s obvious that MacFarlane not only loves comedy but is willing to actually add to it through homage and original humor, rather than recycling the same fart jokes over and over. 

            The one argument that I can see being made is that Ted is misogynistic.  If you’re looking for it, you will definitely find it.  Mila Kunis is the only major female character, and there’s no indication of her having any real friends.  Ted does get a love interest in the middle of the film, but she’s a one-joke character who only gets one speaking scene and it’s pretty painful.

            I can’t tell you to just relax and enjoy the movie, because if you’re bothered by foul mouthed humor, dick jokes, terrible people and a dash of misogyny, then this film is not for you.  However, for people that don’t mind a lot of swearing and enjoy clever comedy, Ted is the best film to come out of Hollywood for a long time.  While not quite as clever as Airplane, it certainly has a bit of an Abrahams/Zucker feel to it.  I’ll put it way, way, waaaay above anything Sandler has done inthe last ten years.