The Grey

            I really need to finish my paper on why movie trailers piss me off so often.  I hate that production companies will completely mislead the viewer into thinking a movie is like A, when in reality, it's like B, but they don't know how to sell B.  Instead of trying to be honest, they'll just cut some footage until everyone thinks they're going to see A.  It's not like they give a shit once they've got your money.

            For example:  Adventureland.  Have you seen it?  I love the movie, but it's no light-hearted coming-of-age comedy.

            There are plenty of examples, and I'll break things down a lot more when I write the specific "I hate these damn trailers so damn much damnit" article.

            On to the review!

            The Grey was my movie of the week, and I feel that it's an appropriate movie to close out January with.  Lots of people are looking out there windows to the view of snow everywhere, so a movie about what happens when you're unprepared for the wilderness feels perfectly timed.  Unfortunately this particular movie, despite all its positives, is fatally flawed.

            There are about a dozen great, fantastic, amazing, fun, entertaining, thrilling elements to The Grey, and I will try to cover them all.  However, there are two elements that prevent this film from being something that could have contended for an Oscar in November or December.  Melodrama and special effects.

            Before I get to those, however, let's go over the basics.  The Grey stars Liam Neeson as Ottway, a man who has absolutely given up.  He has found himself on the edge of the world, guarding oil pipeline workers from wolves as they work in the Northern wilderness.  By wilderness, they really mean it.  A flight south to Anchorage looks like it takes 8+ hours.

            Of course, this being a shitty but decently-paying job, all of his coworkers are losers, jokers, drifters and ex-cons.  The sort of people who don't do well in structured environments but are still competent enough to get a job done if there's money involved.

            So it's no surprise that, when the plane crashes while taking a load of workers to Anchorage for some down time, Ottway is not only the most prepared to survive, but the only one who has any clue.  He finds himself with six other men who range in emotion from scared to scared shitless, all of whom are sick or injured in some way.  Plus, there are wolves.

            You see, they may have crashed close enough to a wolf's den that the wolves are not going to back down.  Instead, they may harass the group of survivors until they're all either 30-300 miles further away, or dead.  Dun-dun-duuuuuun!

            But therein lies one of my problems.  The Grey doesn't really need wolves in the first place.  In fact, I imagine this is how the pitch went:

            "Sir, have we got a movie for you.  Man vs. Nature.  A group of survivors crash-land in the Alaskan wilderness and have to try and survive an arctic winter while searching for civilization.  Plus, Liam Neeson agreed to be the lead for it."

            "Man vs. Nature, you say?  What sort of nature?"

            "Well, we've got blizzards, illness, injuries, snow and below freezing temperatures.  hypothermia, altitude sickness--"

            "Wolves."

            "Sir?"
            "Wolves.  Do you have wolves."

            "Well, they were going to play a minor role, since it is an arctic winter, we figured the men would be frightened and maybe hounded by some wolves."

            "No, I want these motherfucking wolves everywhere.  I want Liam Neeson to have to kill a goddamn wolf every time he takes a piss in this movie."

            "But sir, that really wasn't what we had in mind.  I mean, we were going for something like 127 Hours or Cast Away, you know, where it's just man and damn near no other living creature?"

            "Yeah, but that's some pussy shit.  Now come over here and help me snort all this coke."

            "Yes sir!  Pleasure doing business with you sir."

            And that's the story of how The Grey got too many wolves in it.  Which still wouldn't be too bad, except the wolves look fucking terrible.  When they're running they are terribly poor CGI, and when they're walking or standing still they are an equally-terrible animatronics.  You can't lose yourself to the movie when the antagonists aren't even as realistic as the kids in the It's A Small World ride.

            As for the melodrama, the film seems to recognize that and change course about thirty minutes into the movie, but it comes back with a vengeance towards the end.  I'm not exaggerating when I say that the first few minutes will test your patience.  It is nothing but drama and self-loathing, with woe-is-me voiceover work and just an incredible amount of heaviness in every scene.

            Once the plane goes down, everyone is too busy for flashbacks and monologues.  At least, until we've whittled down the survivors a little bit.  Then the drama starts to pile on again, adding too many layers to the tension.  Throw in the fact that they kept randomly ignoring the weather around them when it was convenient, and I remained just annoyed enough with the film to really lose myself in it. 

            By ignoring the weather, I mean how they complain about the weather in one scene, or comment on how they need fire or blankets or whatnot, only to ignore those needs the next night.  Plus the fact that everyone leaves their face uncovered despite the fact that, by the movie's own admission, frostbite would have taken everyone's damn nose and ears.  Add a scene where someone completely ignores a situation where death by hypothermia is the real world outcome and you've got me just irritated enough to stay grounded in the real world.

            Now, I've complained enough about what I didn't like, but I did say I really enjoyed The Grey.  The elements that I loved were plentiful.  The acting was excellent, and I enjoyed Liam Neeson when he wasn't in woe-is-me mode.  There were some amazingly brilliant lines of dialog and monologues.  The conversations and emotions felt natural, and you could imagine this is exactly how seven people would act and react in this situation.  There were a few moments of genuine thrill and terror where you truly did not know what was going to happen on screen. 

            I think only The Thing compares to just how much the weather can be a factor when you're trying to survive so far north, but of course that antagonist is a little less believable than wolves.  Like I said, I really liked The Grey, and I would recommend it highly.  I'll go so far as to say that I enjoy it more than The Edge, a similar hunted-by-animal(s) survival thriller, and state that it's much better than the Flight of the Phoenix remake.  (I have, sadly, never seen the original, so I cannot compare the two.)  All in all, The Grey is a perfectly fine dramatic thriller.  You just have to get through the first thirty minutes and then pretend that the wolves aren't absolutely ridiculous looking.