Pacific Rim

            It's going to be difficult writing this review without sounding like I'm gushing.  But whatever, screw it.  It's about time I loved a summer popcorn flick that didn't have the Marvel name attached to it.

            On to the review!

            This weekend I found a very excellent reason to not see GrownUps 2.  That reason is that I don't hate myself.  Instead, I went to check out Pacific Rim for 3 reasons.  First off, I'm a big fan of Guillermo del Toro.  Hellboy and Pan's Labyrinth were both great movies (for totally different reasons).  Secondly, it looked like an action movie that was actually fun.  Thirdly, giant freaking robots. 

            I love giant robots.  Which is weird, because I'm really picky about which anime I watch that involves giant robots.  Both Gundam Wing and Evangelion bored me to death and Rahxephon never kept me interested enough to actually finish it.  But stuff like Tekken Toppa Gurren Lagann and even the recent Suisei no Gargantia entertained me to no end.  (Fun fact, Gurren Lagann is both my 3rd favorite anime of all time and the cause of the biggest fight I've ever had with a loved one in my life.)

            Aaaaaanyways, Pacific Rim has giant robots beating up aliens, and it was directed by Guillermo del Toro, and it's an action flick.  I wanted to be there on opening day, and I was.

            The movie starts off with a run-down of what happened to get the planet to its current state.  It starts in 2020 and picks up several years later.  Fortunately, even the prologue is action-packed enough to keep just about anyone interested even while cramming information down the audience's throats.  We need to find out what's up with the aliens (Kaiju) and get some clues as to where they came from.  This spins us up on why the robots (Jaegers) were built.  It also gives us some clues as to the main character's mindsets and attitudes.

            Interestingly, there's a lot going on for a simple action flick.  There's the main character's quest for control and redemption.  There's also the grizzled old warrior, a hotshot kid, a mysterious lady, the experienced soldier, and even two scientists looking for answers.  Yet somehow Pacific Rim merges all these characters and storylines together into a cohesive unit and an entertaining story.  Yes, it is totally a summer blockbuster bubblegum flick, but it's one with half a brain.

            At 131 minutes, it could have been just as dreary and boring as The Lone Ranger, but del Toro did what Gore Verbinski could not: he paced everything out properly.  There are no 20 minute dialogs.  There are no yawn-inducing moments or shitty characters.  Basically, there is no wasted space.

            While I could easily go on about every character in the film and how entertaining they all were in their own right, I just want to briefly mention a few of them.  Charlie Hunnam was fine as Raleigh Becket, our main character and voiceover guy.  Yes, he was wooden.  I can't deny that.  But he almost seemed like a cipher placed there to keep the story moving.  But yes, he was genuinely overshadowed both in acting and story.  Idris Elba (as Stacker Pentacost) was the perfectly cast, perfectly played old commander, and Rinko Kikuchi was just fantastic as Mako Mori, the mysterious girl with a hidden past. 

            While I enjoyed everyone else, I really have to say that Charlie Day was the heart of this film.  As Dr. Newton, he tries to figure out why the Kaiju are attacking, while everyone else focuses on how to destroy the threat.  During his travels within the film, he ends up delivering a large chunk of the humor as well as a few memorable lines.  I gotta hand it to the guy, he's definitely becoming a singular reason to check out a film.

            So, before I spoil any of the plot, let me just say that I enjoyed Pacific Rim very, very much.  It is now the very first film of 2013 that I intend to purchase when it comes to video.  It is also the first summer film of the year that I highly recommend seeing in theaters, because the special effects are way too great to see them for the first time on a tiny TV set.

            This is no Independence Day.  Pacific Rim purposefully avoids nationality and becomes a "Humanity, fuck yeah!" celebration.

            Also, apparently you should stay for the credits.  I didn't, but then I heard that you should.  Guess I'll just have to go see it again.

The Master

             I viewed The Master on Saturday in an effort to have a nice 'movie-swap' last week; the new film review went up on Wednesday so why not put up an 'older' film on Sunday?  Because Paul Thomas Anderson makes things difficult, that's why.  I absolutely adore his films.  I really do.  There Will Be Blood, Punch Drunk Love and Boogie Nights are some of my favorite films.  But holy shit can this man create an unreviewable film.

            On to the (un)review(able)!

            So, it is 1950, WWII is pretty much over, and Freddie Quell (Joaquin Phoenix) is having a hell of a time fitting in.  He’s got anger issues, some serious PTSD and one hell of a drinking problem.  He can’t keep a job, he can’t keep his hand out of his pants, and all he is actually good at is making drinkable alcohol out of things that should not be turned into alcohol.

            One day he sneaks onto a small ship looking for work, the next morning he wakes up and discovers that he’s piqued the interest of the ship’s ‘captain’, Lancaster Dodd (Philip Seymour Hoffman).  Lancaster, you see, is an all-around genius.  Ph. D., M.D., nuclear physicist, writer, thinker, poet, philosopher.  He’s kind of a big deal.

            Oh, did I forget to mention he’s also the leader of a new ‘religion’ ‘cult’ ‘group of self-discovery’?  Because he is.  He also has a wonderful family that fully believes in him as well as followers throughout the United States and beyond.  They really, truly believe in what he has to say.

            Aaaaaand…that’s it.  Freddie really likes Lancaster and honestly believes in him, and he truly believes that he can become a better person by following the ‘Master.’  But all of this is interspersed with, well, everything else.  Even though the story is fairly linear, it more-or-less only follows Freddie, so we’re constantly jumping from one location to the next, often missing days or weeks during which we have no idea what happened aside from what the characters allude to. 

            The Master isn’t a bad movie.  Far from it, it was one of the most painfully earnest films I’ve ever seen.  Amy Adams, Philip Seymour Hoffman and Joaquin Phoenix all deliver amazing performances, and even the ‘smaller’ parts are perfectly played by their actors.  It’s just that this is an incredibly open movie, and that makes it difficult to digest.  There isn’t so much an ending as an end, just as there’s no set climax or even a real beginning.  It’s as if someone simply filmed a year in the life of Freddie, edited it half-assedly and called it a film.

            While I thoroughly enjoyed The Master (although the first 30 minutes or so are really difficult to stomach due to just how bleak they make Freddie’s life out to be), it’s not a movie I would recommend to anyone who wasn’t interested in ‘challenging’ movies or art house fare.

The Lone Ranger

            Hey, Disney!  You know, you do a lot of good stuff.  You really do.  I like a lot of the films that you help to get onto the silver screen.  But it just doesn't look like you're cut out for summer blockbusters.  Maybe you should take a year off and really concentrate on getting the next Star Wars film done properly.  Because this is your second year in a row with a potential flop on your hands.  At least JohnCarter was a decent film, you guys just didn't know how to advertise it properly.  But The Lone Ranger?  Yeah, you really screwed the pooch on this one.

            On to the review!

            The nicest thing I can say about The Lone Ranger is that it never runs out of ideas.  Too bad most of those ideas are terrible.  Clocking in at 149 minutes, it's about 60 minutes too long and half as clever as it thinks it is.

            For the updated Lone Ranger mythos, lawyer John Reid (Armie Hammer) joins his brother Dan (James Badge Dale) on a manhunt to recapture wicked criminal and possible cannibal Butch Cavendish (William Fichtner).  Things go poorly, some mystical stuff happens and he ends up as a masked outlaw/hero, accompanied by the mysterious Tonto (Johnny Depp), a Native American who also wants to see Butch brought to justice.

            Oh yeah, and before all that happens, there's a lot of stuff on a train.  Not to be confused with the later part of the film where there's a lot of stuff on a train.  There are also several shoot-outs, some genuinely clever action sequences, bits of humor scattered throughout and a supporting cast that, on paper, should add depth and entertainment to the movie.

            Sadly enough, the only thing all this stuff added was bloat.  The Lone Ranger tries so hard to be the first film in a franchise that it absolutely stuffs every single idea into itself.  Who is his love interest?  What's Tonto's background?  Why did John become the Lone Ranger?  What does he stand for?  Why the mask?  Who farted?

            Yes, there are a few funny scenes and stabs at running jokes (the mask becomes a conversation point one too many times).  But if your best actor ends up being a horse, you've done something wrong.

            Just half a page in and I'm already sick of talking about it.  I saw the movie an hour ago and it's already begun to slip from my mind.  Gore Verbinski needs to calm the hell down.  Rango was awesome!  Why'd you remake it into a shitty wannabe-comedy-western?

            Though the Johnny Depp drawing power will most likely skyrocket The Lone Ranger to the top of the charts this weekend, you would be better entertained by hunting down My Name Is Nobody on Netflix.  Now THAT is a fun, funny, entertaining western.  It's also under 2 hours long.