I have found Zack Snyder's true fans, and none of them are old enough to drive.
Initially, I was planning on commenting on how much I hate PG-13. I see them simply as a way for a studio to make money, and nothing more. I wanted to vent my frustration that a PG-13 movie is either going to be an adult flick dumbed down, or a kid's flick that tried to keep too many swear words. But then I saw Sucker Punch, and realized that yes, you could tell a PG-13 story that is perfectly appropriate for the rating.
Unfortunately, that story isn't necessarily a good one. Nominally a story about inner strength and coping with terrible situations, Sucker Punch plays out like Inception meets cyberpunk, as written by a coked-out teenager. This is where I start to fear for my sanity. It's just a theory now, but I believe that as the summer deepens, movies get louder and dumber. It will be the ones that speak with (at minimum) a coherent voice that will stand out from the pack.
After an admittedly fantastic opening sequence where nothing is said and the music is pure energy, our protagonist finds herself in an institution for the mentally insane. Which, of course, looks like every other nuthouse shown on film in the last fifty years. Dirty, dingy, solid concrete with flaking paint. I am beginning to wonder if there isn't just one asylum set in Hollywood, and they just change out the furniture.
About twenty minutes in, I was honestly curious about where the plot was going and genuinely into the flick. Unfortunately, that was when our heroine, Baby Doll, finally spoke, and it was all downhill from there. The dialog is jerky and flimsy, makes little sense, and revolves around over-emoting while trying to look semi-convincing, rather than just confused.
Fortunately there is Scott Glenn, who plays a wise old man. He appears at the beginning of each 'adventure' portion of the film and acts as a field commander for the girls. He tells them what needs to be done and then disappears. You can actually see the amusement in his eyes. It's like he is the only person in this movie who realized that it was a multi-million dollar B-movie.
You see, Baby Doll does not handle stress well, so she imagines reality a little differently. The asylum becomes a roaring-twenties style dancehall, and every adventure she has while trying to escape morphs into a different location through her dancing.
Yes, I am not making any of that up.
The action scenes are fantastic, if a little full of Mr. Snyder's personal SUPER SLOW MO ACTION CLOSE-UP SHOT! (For those of you who don't know, the slow-motion action shot is to Zack Snyder what explosions are to Michael Bay.) Otherwise, I found myself at least enjoying the ridiculous locations and fight choreography. Unfortunately, when each imaginary battle ended we were plunged back in the 'real' world of the dancehall and subjected to more terrible acting and ridiculous dialog.
On top of the bad lines, there was also a weird make-up effect. Everyone either looked completely orange or vampire-pale with too much blush. It was really odd.
However, if there is one thing I can recommend, it would be the soundtrack. At one point during the film I was absolutely fed up with the whole 'let's remix good songs with techno beats!' direction that they had taken. However, about the time they kicked a bass-heavy version of Bjork into the foreground, I realized that hell, at least this would sound ridiculous coming from my little Honda Fit.
Finally, a note on the crowd. I went to the 5:30 Friday showing, so maybe I was a bit too early for those who were really anticipating Sucker Punch. However, there was a group of half a dozen kids between 12-14 years of age in front of me who literally pooped their pants with awe the entire movie. I swear one of them was actually hovering over his chair for the last five minutes, too excited to actually sit down. When the film went to credits, they all jumped up and babbled together excitedly. More than one of them pronounced Sucker Punch to be their new favorite movie, or the best movie ever made.
Cynically, or maybe a bit jealously, I wondered if they would feel the same way if their parents had let them see Watchmen or 300, which were just like Sucker Punch, only with better dialog and a little bit of nudity.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Limitless
This week there really did not seem to be a big 'BLOCKBUSTER'-type movie on the new release schedule. Not wanting to think for myself, I held an informal survey on facebook to see which movie people thought was more blatantly Hollywood: Limitless or The Lincoln Lawyer. How to decide? They both have such improbable plots! In one, we are expected to believe that Matthew MacConaughey can keep his shirt on for an entire movie, while in the other we are expected to believe that Bradley Cooper can out think us all. Fortunately for me, the winner was the one with Robert De Niro in it.
*drumroll*
*silence*
Anyways, on to the review.
First, let's get this out of the way: I have nothing against Bradley Cooper. I am completely neutral towards him, and he turns up in a surprisingly large number of movies that I enjoy.
Now then.....Bradley Cooper seems to be the best cinematic douchebag Hollywood has to offer. He has that permanent smirk that makes you waver between wanting to hang out with him in the hopes that one day he'll be your wingman and help you hook up with a girl waaaaay out of our league, or punching him right in that smirking, douche-y face.
Limitless was seemingly written for Bradley Cooper. In the beginning, he starts off as a go-nowhere douchebag who isn't even sure why he has ever had a friend or date. After being introduced to a wonderful drug that opens up 100% of the human brain, he becomes an arrogant, popular, awesome douchebag. (Yes, I really like the word douchebag.) He is never challenged from an acting standpoint. He either smiles in confusion or overconfidence. Again, not to knock on the man, I am just so amazed that this is actually his strong point.
Then there is De Niro. It truly felt that he was paid to just be De Niro for 15 minutes of screen time. "Hello, Mr. De Niro? Can I call you Robert? No? Well then, how would you like to just be yourself for 15 minutes while we pretend you're a rich businessman? Yeah, you can glower and threaten a bit too if that's what you want. You'll do it? Awesome! Now I can pay my mortgage!"
Despite a such a perfectly cast ensemble, Limitless is never quite sure what sort of movie it wants to be. At some points, it is strictly a thoughtless action flick with a good premise. At other times, it becomes a commentary on the human condition. There were even a few times where I was genuinely rooting for the movie to go darker and explore the really depressing themes. Unfortunately, like every good tease, Limitless always pulls back from the brink and instead does something disappointingly predictable.
All in all, this is not a bad flick. If you go in with no expectations, you will be pleasantly surprised. I would not recommend you watch this movie in a theater if you get motion sick, however. Both the introduction and a mid-point offer a very dizzying take on forward motion and it could lead to some serious nausea. Otherwise, it offers a half-decent take on the whole 'What if we could utilize all of our potential?' idea, and does so on an entertainingly small scale. Just be sure to prepare yourself for 8 previews before the movie if you're lucky enough to watch it on Cinemark screens, and steel yourself for two hours of Bradley Cooper's smug, douche-y grin.
*drumroll*
*silence*
Anyways, on to the review.
First, let's get this out of the way: I have nothing against Bradley Cooper. I am completely neutral towards him, and he turns up in a surprisingly large number of movies that I enjoy.
Now then.....Bradley Cooper seems to be the best cinematic douchebag Hollywood has to offer. He has that permanent smirk that makes you waver between wanting to hang out with him in the hopes that one day he'll be your wingman and help you hook up with a girl waaaaay out of our league, or punching him right in that smirking, douche-y face.
Limitless was seemingly written for Bradley Cooper. In the beginning, he starts off as a go-nowhere douchebag who isn't even sure why he has ever had a friend or date. After being introduced to a wonderful drug that opens up 100% of the human brain, he becomes an arrogant, popular, awesome douchebag. (Yes, I really like the word douchebag.) He is never challenged from an acting standpoint. He either smiles in confusion or overconfidence. Again, not to knock on the man, I am just so amazed that this is actually his strong point.
Then there is De Niro. It truly felt that he was paid to just be De Niro for 15 minutes of screen time. "Hello, Mr. De Niro? Can I call you Robert? No? Well then, how would you like to just be yourself for 15 minutes while we pretend you're a rich businessman? Yeah, you can glower and threaten a bit too if that's what you want. You'll do it? Awesome! Now I can pay my mortgage!"
Despite a such a perfectly cast ensemble, Limitless is never quite sure what sort of movie it wants to be. At some points, it is strictly a thoughtless action flick with a good premise. At other times, it becomes a commentary on the human condition. There were even a few times where I was genuinely rooting for the movie to go darker and explore the really depressing themes. Unfortunately, like every good tease, Limitless always pulls back from the brink and instead does something disappointingly predictable.
All in all, this is not a bad flick. If you go in with no expectations, you will be pleasantly surprised. I would not recommend you watch this movie in a theater if you get motion sick, however. Both the introduction and a mid-point offer a very dizzying take on forward motion and it could lead to some serious nausea. Otherwise, it offers a half-decent take on the whole 'What if we could utilize all of our potential?' idea, and does so on an entertainingly small scale. Just be sure to prepare yourself for 8 previews before the movie if you're lucky enough to watch it on Cinemark screens, and steel yourself for two hours of Bradley Cooper's smug, douche-y grin.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Battle: Los Angeles
As I left the theater, a friend asked me if I enjoyed watching Independence Day 2.0.
I replied with a shrug.
This did feel sort of like Independence Day's long-lost cousin, or a continuation of a dozen other movies. In fact, Battle: L.A. could have been titled 'Action Science-Fiction Homage.' This film is simply a gathering of tropes and stereotypes from both genres. The most impressive part is that they managed to fit so many of them into one movie without it becoming a bloated mess.
How did they avoid it? Great question!
They didn't leave enough time to worry about character development. In fact, aside from 'almost retired veteran who has regrets,' ably played by Aaron Eckhart, almost no other characters are developed outside of the opening ten minutes. If you care about a single person that dies in this movie (with one exception) then you, sir, are the world's greatest empath.
The movie is predictable. The characters that you expect to get killed, do. In fact, you may even be able to predict the order of their deaths. Explosions happen on schedule, and even the two big 'surprises' are so telegraphed that there should be no actual shock when they happen.
I am not saying that this is a terrible movie. Aside from the shaky-cam, which is way too overdone (but a very easy combat simulator), the film itself is well put-together. The action scenes are decently choreographed, and the special effects are good. Some people may not even notice that the alien invaders look like the prawns from District 9 with giant UFO heads.
The premise of the movie is very interesting, and the Black Hawk Down take on an alien invasion has promise. I just wish they kept the movie as small-scale as the beginning. Unfortunately, this film had much larger ambitions than just showing how a few men cope with combat. Battle: L.A. wanted those men to become heroes, rather than just survivors
Basically, this movie isn't bad. It isn't great, because it tries too hard to be everything and ends up overreaching. It wanted to be Black Hawk Down meets Independence Day. What it did was make me want to watch any of a dozen different action or sci-fi films, or even play some Modern Warfare.
However, for the opening salvo that kicks off blockbuster season, it has everything you want. Action, explosions, characters in crisis, and a plot you could write on a paper towel and still leave room to wipe up a spill. Popcorn cinema indeed.
If the entire summer line up of films is as easy to digest and as this one, I should be alright. Feel free to watch Battle: L.A. when it is available for rent. The crowds don't add anything but the smell of popcorn and nachos to a very loud, very busy movie.
I replied with a shrug.
This did feel sort of like Independence Day's long-lost cousin, or a continuation of a dozen other movies. In fact, Battle: L.A. could have been titled 'Action Science-Fiction Homage.' This film is simply a gathering of tropes and stereotypes from both genres. The most impressive part is that they managed to fit so many of them into one movie without it becoming a bloated mess.
How did they avoid it? Great question!
They didn't leave enough time to worry about character development. In fact, aside from 'almost retired veteran who has regrets,' ably played by Aaron Eckhart, almost no other characters are developed outside of the opening ten minutes. If you care about a single person that dies in this movie (with one exception) then you, sir, are the world's greatest empath.
The movie is predictable. The characters that you expect to get killed, do. In fact, you may even be able to predict the order of their deaths. Explosions happen on schedule, and even the two big 'surprises' are so telegraphed that there should be no actual shock when they happen.
I am not saying that this is a terrible movie. Aside from the shaky-cam, which is way too overdone (but a very easy combat simulator), the film itself is well put-together. The action scenes are decently choreographed, and the special effects are good. Some people may not even notice that the alien invaders look like the prawns from District 9 with giant UFO heads.
The premise of the movie is very interesting, and the Black Hawk Down take on an alien invasion has promise. I just wish they kept the movie as small-scale as the beginning. Unfortunately, this film had much larger ambitions than just showing how a few men cope with combat. Battle: L.A. wanted those men to become heroes, rather than just survivors
Basically, this movie isn't bad. It isn't great, because it tries too hard to be everything and ends up overreaching. It wanted to be Black Hawk Down meets Independence Day. What it did was make me want to watch any of a dozen different action or sci-fi films, or even play some Modern Warfare.
However, for the opening salvo that kicks off blockbuster season, it has everything you want. Action, explosions, characters in crisis, and a plot you could write on a paper towel and still leave room to wipe up a spill. Popcorn cinema indeed.
If the entire summer line up of films is as easy to digest and as this one, I should be alright. Feel free to watch Battle: L.A. when it is available for rent. The crowds don't add anything but the smell of popcorn and nachos to a very loud, very busy movie.
What is Mainstreamin'?
More importantly, why should you care about it?
Mainstream can loosely be defined as that which is popular, or anything that is designed to appeal to the largest number of people. Most artists want to appeal to as many people as possible to increase sales, which increases income. Of course, you already know that people don't become musicians, artists, actors or directors to stay poor.
Unfortunately, I have always been a bit of an anti-mainstream person. I didn't even really develop personal tastes until I was a teenager, but when it happened, it happened big. Though my family always tried to make sure I did not 'judge a book by its cover,' I was always willing to make the exception for 'books with stupid covers.'
This led me to become more interested in less mainstream art. Many of my favorite musicians are not played on any radio station. Many of my favorite movies are foreign or low budget. These are the sorts of movies that earn rave reviews and are seen by dozens and dozens of people, all while making tens of dollars.
I can't help myself. When I see a major movie release, my first reaction is to sardonically wonder if the special effects are worth sitting through an inevitably terrible plot. I have not truly enjoyed a summer blockbuster film, with the exception of some of Marvel Studios works (because I am also a huge nerd), since Independence Day.
So, this year I will challenge myself. I will watch every single blockbuster movie release the weekend it comes out. If there is not a blockbuster release for that weekend, I will go and see the movie with the largest advertising budget, or the one that is the most talked about. I will also attempt to expand my musical horizons with more pop and less indie/techno/reggae/punk/metal.
I will then return to this blog and not only write about what I thought of the movie as a reviewer, but I will also give random thoughts. Was the opening-weekend audience a help or a hindrance in enjoying the movie? Would I recommend this to anyone I know? Did any one actor make the movie far more fun than it should have been? If I cannot find any redeeming factor in said movie/album, what would I recommend instead?
Please join me in my year long quest to become more open to mainstream media and maybe less of a snob. Or watch to see if this backfires and turns me into a hateful, angry old man.
My only rule? No Nickelback.
Mainstream can loosely be defined as that which is popular, or anything that is designed to appeal to the largest number of people. Most artists want to appeal to as many people as possible to increase sales, which increases income. Of course, you already know that people don't become musicians, artists, actors or directors to stay poor.
Unfortunately, I have always been a bit of an anti-mainstream person. I didn't even really develop personal tastes until I was a teenager, but when it happened, it happened big. Though my family always tried to make sure I did not 'judge a book by its cover,' I was always willing to make the exception for 'books with stupid covers.'
This led me to become more interested in less mainstream art. Many of my favorite musicians are not played on any radio station. Many of my favorite movies are foreign or low budget. These are the sorts of movies that earn rave reviews and are seen by dozens and dozens of people, all while making tens of dollars.
I can't help myself. When I see a major movie release, my first reaction is to sardonically wonder if the special effects are worth sitting through an inevitably terrible plot. I have not truly enjoyed a summer blockbuster film, with the exception of some of Marvel Studios works (because I am also a huge nerd), since Independence Day.
So, this year I will challenge myself. I will watch every single blockbuster movie release the weekend it comes out. If there is not a blockbuster release for that weekend, I will go and see the movie with the largest advertising budget, or the one that is the most talked about. I will also attempt to expand my musical horizons with more pop and less indie/techno/reggae/punk/metal.
I will then return to this blog and not only write about what I thought of the movie as a reviewer, but I will also give random thoughts. Was the opening-weekend audience a help or a hindrance in enjoying the movie? Would I recommend this to anyone I know? Did any one actor make the movie far more fun than it should have been? If I cannot find any redeeming factor in said movie/album, what would I recommend instead?
Please join me in my year long quest to become more open to mainstream media and maybe less of a snob. Or watch to see if this backfires and turns me into a hateful, angry old man.
My only rule? No Nickelback.
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