Today I'm doing something different. I'm gonna watch a movie that I don't already hate. I'm also not going to watch a movie that I will probably hate. Instead, I am going to watch a film that I absolutely loved when I was a teenager, that I own on DVD and that I haven't seen in about half a decade. Let's see how Very Bad Things holds up, shall we?
Very Bad Things is a classic 'black comedy' about the worst Bachelor party ever. Robert (Christian Slater), Michael (Jeremy Piven), Adam (Daniel Stern) and Charles (Leland Orser) take their best friend Kyle (Jon Favreau) out for a huge-ass Las Vegas bachelor party. Then, as always, Jeremy Piven goes and fucks things up.
After Robert makes a terrible situation even worse, they band together and do their best to destroy the evidence. Then we're about 30 minutes into a 100 minute film! The rest of the film goes downhill for our erstwhile heroes as they're forced to try and live with what they've done.
Meanwhile, Cameron Diaz plays Laura, the lucky bride-to-be and she will brook NO errors! Everything else in this dark, dark film is for those of us who enjoy good films to know and you to find out, I suppose.
I had really forgotten just how much I enjoyed Very Bad Things. It really is a terrible, horrible, messed up movie, but it's played perfectly by all the actors. For this to work, there needs to be an absolute commitment by the actors to just buy into the ideas. The ideas here? Their characters are screw-ups. Different screw-ups, yes. Some freak out, some go numb, and others turn to drugs and booze, but everything works. It's a nasty, brutal, hilarious film.
To this day I remember sitting in the theater with my friend, getting dirty looks from everyone else that just didn't seem to get it.
So yeah, go ahead and grab a beer, crank up the volume, and try not to feel guilty at laughing at such a dark comedy.
There were just three of us chilling like villains today. Myself, Joe Cam and Sian. You two are freaking awesome.
As always, we're in regular quotes, the movie is in italicized quotes.
"Man, Jon Favreau got fat."
"Man, remember when Cameron Diaz was hot?" "And funny?"
"Did Jeremy Piven's hair grown forward in the past decade?"
"Remember when Christian Slater was an actual actor?" "Who?"
"God damnit Jeremy Piven, we can't take you anywhere."
"I don't see why they find her attractive, she's so skinny." "She's portable!"
"Who's got next? She's free now." (Yes, that was a dead hooker joke.)
"Aww, now everybody has AIDS."
"That's how you know he's a slime bag." "He's a Real Estate Agent."
"Freakout in 3....2........." "I think you're count's off." "I'll just make it a really long 1."
"Well, if you don't calm down we're gonna hafta murder you next. So. Calm down."
"I love you, helmet."
"That's right Jeremy Piven. Do all the drugs."
"He's gonna fuck her nasal cavity."
"Look at those eyes. Those are the eyes of a psychopath. I think they pulled that kid out of juvie just to do this movie."
"Hey, no smoking in my car. Only people covered in blood can smoke in my-OOOHHHH."
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